Smile always

2010-08-10T23:15:00.003+08:00

It's the month of August, and the month that I should really start to prepare for my school life. Not sure why, maybe it's coz I've left school for so long after my jc, just feel uneasy to go back to school to study again. Thinking of those times in jc, (lectures, tutorials, tests and exams) it really frightens me to go back to school life again. Maybe coz of the relax life for almost 1 and a half year, I felt so lethargic to go school. And the need to wake up so early in the morning is just enough for me to worry about. Being adapted to sleep late and wake up late, I guess I really have to change my body clock to be normal again. If not I'll have a terrible time when school starts.

But come to think of that, isn't it good for one to enter into uni? With so many applicants applying for the 3 local uni, it isn't easy to be accepted by them. So I told myself I'll cherish the one and only chance given to me, as it wasn't easy to come by. Though my course can't compare to those competitive and exhausting courses, at least it interests me and i should work hard in the 4 years to come. =)

And I can bet that, if I leave my workplace, the word "舍不得" is so so suitable for me. Coz it's such a joy to work with so many friendly and nice ppl around. And most of these ppl aren't locals, they're either from China or Malaysia. Through the one month I've worked there, I've learnt a lot of values and experiences. Most impt thing is the diff between locals and the foreigners, their characters and their attitudes. That's one thing that changed my perception of viewing things. Through these ppl, I realise how different it is between the locals and the foreigners (malaysian and ppl from Chine). The way each behaves and the way each views things are far different. That make me grown up even more. Though I'm not sure why, just feels that my thinking changed after working with such nice and friendly ppl. =)

~人与人之间, 最珍贵的是那份真诚的心. 用真诚的心去对待别人, 那是最美好的. ~

support~~

2010-07-02T01:28:00.005+08:00

Oh well~ It's been super long ever since I updated my blog. Laziness is the ans to it, and nth much to post also. I had started working for these 2 weeks, in the fnb industry whereby it's tougher than any other jobs. Coz u need to walk the whole working hours, plus u need to serve the drinks and food. And I can really say the muscles do all the job, from the hands to the legs. It's tough to carry the tray that contains the load of food and drinks. Without strength and focus, the drinks will sure to spill, and the food will sure to topple.

But, I like this job quite much. Not coz of the pay, but the satisfaction there. U get to exercise (from all those walking and carrying), u get to serve the customers and u get to learn things that make u grow up. Most impt is that when the customers say a little "thank you", u feel that your hard work is appreciated. And when they smile and bid goodbye to u after they finished their meals, that's what heartfelt gratitude is.

Being in this fast pace society, it's hard for people to greet and to just say "thank you" to u. U can say that ppl tend to overlook the courtesy that one should have. And the distance between people to people drifts apart. But in the fnb industry, u experience another form of courtesy between the customers and the waiter/ress. That's my contentment gain from it. And the fun between the staff (managers too).

But for my job, I need to work till 12am, whereby I'll only reach home earliest around 12.40am. That's where the problem lies. My bf don't really agree to me working there till so late, and it's at np some more. I know he'll worry, and need to wait till I get home and finish my shower before he can go to sleep. I know u'll worry, and I don't confirm I can protect myself when I'm going home. But at least, I know my dear is waiting at home for me. That's when I feel blissful from your support. Just hope that everything will be good. And I know no matter what, u'll stay by my side, be with me throughout ya? ^^

~ I need your support and encouragement ~

2010-05-25T21:16:00.003+08:00

It's been such a long time since I updated my blog. Oh well~ Have been at home all the time and I'm bored to death. Wanna look for job and hope it'll be near my house coz I lazy to transport. XD Waiting for my uni to start sch on the 30 August, which is like around 3 months away. Come to think of that, haven't been in contact with school and books for almost 1 and half year. I wonder will I get used to going back to school and study. Omg~~ It's so hard to imagine that after slacking for 1 year, I'm going back to sch to study again. Don't know why I'm like used to my life now. But I'll work hard when I get into uni!

Went out with dear boy today to cwp. And he looked for jobs coz his current job in kiddy palace too stress and too far. And of coz, he was being offered to work at "Stereo", the shop that sells earpieces and all that. Good for him, coz he can save transport fees, and would be able to see him often. ^^ As for me, hmmm, don't know what job should I look for. Miao said should upgrade in the job we want to work coz we passed the sales working age. XD Should look for those admin jobs or sth.

Not sure yet, see how it goes. Currently, I'm giving tuition. And it's 4 times per week to just one student. Can imagine how reluctant I can be when it comes to go to the girl's house to give tuition almost every weekdays? Still thinking whether to talk to the mum to change to twice per week, 2 hours per session anot. Coz it's so tiring to go 4 days straight.

Anw~ My dad and my grandma went to Guang Zhou again~ This time I didn't tag along coz save $$. Haha... Today is the 2nd day they went, hope they're all well there. And hope they'll but gifts for me! XD Alright, update next time. And I want to say, that I love my dear boy lots! ^^

The news I've been waited for One year!

2010-05-06T14:42:00.004+08:00

OMG~ Today is such a joyful day for me! It's been one year, one whole entire year. Was so scared that I can't get the acceptance, coz since I failed one time, got that phobia. Went online check for the acceptance, and and to my surprise, I'm being accepted for Chinese! I quickly asked my mum to come and take a look, she jump to joy. Asked me whether is it true or not, and I said yes. =D

I was so excited that tears burst out and I cried for joy, cried coz I've been waiting very long for this. NTU chinese! Congrats to me! Quickly called laogong and told him the good news, he was happy for me too. My mum said it's the best Mother's day gift ever. And I'm glad I can give her this present on time. Applied for the second time and I'm finally being accepted to enter into uni. Tears of joy kept rolling down, and I really can't imagine that I've got that course.

Now I'm waiting for the letter to come, and I'll accept it too. It's the day I've been waiting for. And I shared this joy with my parents and laogong! Hehez... Getting into uni wasn't easy, study for that wasn't easy too. I'll work hard so that my efforts will not go in vain. I'm simply too happy today! ^^

2010-04-14T17:05:00.007+08:00

Back from chalet with laogong... Suppose to be very happy, in the end, it turn out to be like that. Am I that inconsiderate? Or am I that irrtating that my words are just meant to be said and forgot? Gave a hint to him, but guess he didn't catch it. Girls are like that, when their mouth say this, actually their heart don't mean that. When they say yes, sometimes their heart means no, when they say "anything" or "up to u", actually their heart really don't wish u to go. Girl is a contradicting creature. Then boy? Boy don't understand what girl want. Not girl didn't tell, she tell, but boy didn't catch it. Or maybe girl told boy not that clearly, in the end, it end up quarreling.

Can I let u know how I feel? How I feel when u always said, " my fault for all these can? " Can I tell u what are my feelings? I'm not that good in words, quiet most of the time, and when sth unhappy happens, I choose to be quiet. Coz the more I said, the more u misunderstood me, the more u put all the blame to yourself, then it makes me feel I'm such a lousy girl, I'm such an useless girl... Coz I didn't mean to ask u put the blame to yourself, I just want u to know how your this little girl feel...

Know how she feel now? Hurt by your words, hurt by how u said those things to her... Girl admit that she's such a fragile girl, cry baby if u think she is. But boy doesn't seem to know her inner self. Coz she's badly injured once, and that heart of her don't mean to say those unplesant words. Hurt once, a wound is there, and is easily infected. Before u said those words, got think of how she feels? Say le, it makes u say that it's all your fault, then what about girl? She wouldn't think that way?

How her heart feels, u should know, perhaps not that detailed. But deep inside her, there's a scar that will always be there. But do you really know......

~Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one, to take my breath away? ~

~ Can I ask u not to go? Will u listen to me? Would u console me after what u said that hurt me? Would u know that my tears just keep rolling down? How I wish u would know all these while u were away...

Would you stand by me, let me hold u tight? And would u think of me, after u stop smsing me? How I wish u could understand how I feel... How I wish u could hold me tight now... ~

~ 心好痛，但是你都知道吗？~ ='(

Xin hao tong...

2010-04-03T00:00:00.004+08:00

Had a little dispute and quarrel with him. Book hao le de chalet, in the end u can't go. I spent efforts, time and money orh, yet u can't go. Know me and my sis, from woodlands all the way to pasir ris, went to just book a chalet to celebrate your birthday? So should I cancel? Ytd quarrel, coz u got orientation, then can't make it. When I heard it, was a little angry and upset at first, then said those unhappy words.

Today, little dispute also. Made till our day not good at all. Thought of so many words to tell u in msn, type hao le, type and cry tgt. But u can't see it at all. I know u angry with what I said, but got think that laogong hurt me also ma? Xin hao tong orh. Know u kena friends treat u like that, yet I can't do anything. Can't give u a hug to let u feel better, can't do anything to let u feel better.

Laogong said u suffer there, but I heard from your voice, got enjoy ba. Got enjoy jiu hao, at least u didn't feel sad even though we quarrel. But for me, I cried for many nights. That night, coz miss u too much, plus your friends prob, made me cried and worried for u. Ytd and tonight, which is now, cried coz I know u enjoyed, but don't know why I don feel good at all. Perhaps coz I'm suffering ba, suffering from my misses for u, suffering from ytd's quarrel and today. Guess u don't feel that hurt hor?

But u know what? My heart so painful, tears keep rolling down from my eyes. I don't want your "it's ok" or your "nvm", I want your console. Muacks so many times can't heal my wound, coz it's so painful. Why everytime we quarrel, I suffered so much? And keep on crying yet u don't know. I'm such a lousy girl, perhaps not that good as your girl. But deep inside my heart, I'm truly hurt... Sleep le, wake up, it's still hurt. Laogong... U know that ma?

* misses *

2010-03-30T18:20:00.004+08:00

These few days weren't that easy to lead on. Just felt that without him, life's really not that happy and bright. Last thurs went to airport to send laogong off to Korea. And he'll be away for 11 days till next mon. Haiz.. Was happy at first when we reached the airport. But when it was about time to bid goodbye, I can't hold it anymore and I cried... I knew I promised I wouldn't cry, but really can't hold it. After that went burger king with his mum and sis to da bao food. Saw laogong going in le, and silly laogong cried too. Cried even more sad than me... That's the 1st time he went overseas alone with the school, and for such a long time. Haiz...

Today was the 5th day he's away, and my misses for him really cannot be described. 6 more days for him to come back, really miss him alot. At night, when I was about to sleep, will think whether my silly laogong got eat well and sleep well anot, got enjoy and take great care of himself anot. Sometimes when I think of it, tears just roll down. Can't control my misses for him, how I wish now time can flash faster, how I wish he can come back faster...

Hope he's good there, enjoy the tours and shopping. But as for me, it isn't that good. Now then I know missing someone is worst than torture, mind is full of him can make me go crazy. But what can I do? Can only wait for him to come back, and I wish the countdown can be a bit faster. Hope tml will be better, hope tml morning there'll be a call asking me to go for relief, then I wouldn't think so much. Hope to find sth to do then time can flash faster.

Laogong must take great care, rem to drink lots of water. Sha laopo waiting for u to come back...

~ Counting down 6 more days for u to come back... How I wish time can past faster ~

Those were just memories...

2010-03-13T21:48:00.005+08:00

Have been staying at home for 2 weeks ever since I resigned from my work in preschool. Everyday is just the same old thing happening again and again. Look after my twinees, eat, drink and sleep. Where's my motivation in life? Where's my goal? Suddenly, I seems to realise that my life is just going on a monotone basis. No ups and downs, no exciting features. Hmmm... Something is lacking in my life.

Reminiscing the days in my school life, perhaps my life in sec was much more better. At least I knew that I had some motivation there, and at least I knew what I'm doing. Msl chinese orchestra was that motivation for me. Every mon and wed, no matter how tired I am, I would endure and go for those practices. Coz I knew that my passion was there, and I had my 3 er hu mates with me. 4 of us would go for those practices tgt and we definitely would have fun and laughter. After practices, working home tgt is just like a norm for us. Rehearsals, concerts and camps were those things that we had fond memories of, and those would etched in my mind.

My life in sec sch was much more fun, and the days were easy to lead too. Twice per week for the mslco practices were able to let me have fun with my 3 strings mates. Those days were just what I enjoyed and loved. Though there were struggles for me in my last year in sec sch, at least there were some memories for me to reminisce. Unhappy memories should be let go ya? I hope that's for the others too. =)

I should really go search for my motivations and goals in my life. Just like the way I had in mslco, just like the days I had with my 3 awesome er hu mates. Coz my life now is simply not too exciting but at the same time a little bored. But can I really find it? Will those motivations and goals appear again in my life? I hope so... Oh well~ Looking forward to the acceptance. ^^

~ Are incidents for people to forget or to remember? ~

2010-02-26T23:17:00.007+08:00

Today was my last day of work in Mindchamp. It's been 3 months since I worked there, there were fun, laughter and joy, happiness and sadness too. And I really enjoyed working there coz u don't have much stress. The kids will definitely brighten up your day with a hug and a kiss. Last year, I took care of the k1B kids who are in K2B now. Last year wasn't that fun coz they're more academic-based. Nevertheless, these k1 kids, now K2s, are really a joy to be with, except for the gossips that they'll have.

18 kids, some not really that close to me, some will just hug me every now and then whenever they saw me along the hallway. And a greeting of "Hello Miss Bao Qi" made me feel that they did not forget me even though I'm not with them. Especially a boy name Anders, he's really a fun and loving boy that i adore much. ^^

Then this year, I was with the N1A kids. That was the fun period that motivated me to go to work everyday. They are just the "motivator" that pushed me to wake up every day to go to work. It's simply F-U-N to be with them, coz they're the ones that are much cuter, and will give u hugs and kisses. Oops~ Sounds as if I yearn for their hugs and kisses. Xp They're just the age of my twinees, and these kids are just angels and monsters.

But don't know why these 2 weeks, after the CNY hols, it did not motivate me to go to work. In fact, I didn't go to work for 3 days. Maybe coz I felt that my presence wasn't that impt anymore, as there's a new assistant teacher there. Oh well~ It's over for now. Especially this week, everything wan't that good I guess. I skip 2 days of my work. Maybe coz I need to attent to N1B coz the main teacher wasn't day. Today last day also wasn't that happy. Supposed to be with my N1A kids for the whole day except shower time, but only morning I was with them, afternoon I need to swop back. Guess I have to be.

Anw~ Took lots of pics today, and I gave my lil' kids gifts too. Gave my N1 kids, both A and B classes, plus K2B too. And to those teachers I once worked with, Miss reena, Ms Leah, Miss Wati, Lin Laoshi and the 2 aunties. All the best to everyone in Mindchamp. And I will definitely miss my little N1A kids, they're just simply the best! ^^ Shall upload pics in my facebook soon.

~Kids are just the happiness part of life that u can encounter ~ n.n

Updates!

2010-01-30T21:49:00.003+08:00

It's been so long since I updated, perhaps I'm a little lazy to update my blog. Everything's well for me nowadays, and I enjoyed working with kids! Hahaz... They will really make my day and I will always remember those actions that make me laugh. Kids are just that innocent and naughty at times. Some more they are just the age as my twinees. But I will never forget how I clean them up when they did their "big business". Sometimes I had to clean for up to 4 times a day, and some kids did twice. Omg~ And baobei said it's a good training for me for the future. Then I told him next time he'll help to clean for our kids coz I don't want. Xp

Went bugis with him today. At first wanted to walk walk around to see clothes, but it's so squeezy coz there're lots of people there. So went to the 'Guan Yin' temple to pray then ate KFC. Went bugis junction for window shopping coz we usually don't buy things when we shop. =) Walked till 5 plus then we headed back to cwp. Was very tired and I fell asleep on the mrt. Luckily laogong was beside me so that i can lie my head on his shoulder. Sweet ya? That's what I always do when we are on the mrt for a long journey.

Enjoyed myself today coz it's with him. =) Went cwp and as usual, he played few rounds of MT. Went home after that and now I'm updating my blog. Nowadays I feel so tired easily, maybe coz need to wake up early during the weekdays. But everytime after i wake up, I will have the motivation to continue on for the day. Maybe it's coz of the kids that make my day worth while. But sometimes they will cry and it's quite 'noisy' to hear them crying. But after the whole day, a hug and a kiss from them will make me feel that kids are really cute and fun. ^^

Btw~ My application for relief teacher is approved. And it starts in march. So I will work in my preschool till end of feb and will work as relief teacher. Time flies so fast... CNY is coming, looking forward to it. But it clashes wih Valentine's day, so can't celebrate with laogong. =( Will miss him lots.

~ I just love the way we are, sweet sweet love ~

dear diary...

2010-01-14T00:00:00.007+08:00

Did u experience sth that go missing suddenly? It was there for like months, and now then it went missing. Haiz... Searched for it high and low, almost going to turn my house upside down. But still can't find it despite my massive hunting for it. It's precious to me, really very impt to me. Coz it noted down my every moments with laogong, it contains my happiness and sadness with him. Now it's gone suddenly, and I'm desperate for that to 'pop' out itself.

I remembered I didn't misplace it, or put it somewhere. It was there, beside my bed and I put it there all along. How I wish I have supernatural eyes to scan every corners so that I can know where it really is. If I still can't find it, even if I need to flip my house inside out, I will do it! Search for every place in my house, cupboards and everywhere. I'm sure I'm going to find it, and be prepared to see me going bonkers. I will do it!!!

~Could u please come back? U're really impt to me... I'll do anything for u to appear... ~ ='(

If I have the ability...

2010-01-07T21:09:00.005+08:00

Beginning of the year, yet nothing seems to be going on that well. Busy with work lately and the kids are draining my energy. Have been at the nursery 1 class and everyday when I go for my work, they sure will cry coz they're not used to the new environment. And when they cry, it's those non-stop crying. One kid cry still ok, but when up till 5 kids are crying tgt, imagine the loud noise we teachers have to endure. The nursery 1A class has the most teachers, 5 teachers in a class for 12 kids. Plus we have to carry them when they cried coz they're only 3! That's just like the same age as my twinees. Everyday we'll get to hear the 'music' that these little kids created from their cries.

Whenever I saw them cry, I was wondering why parents nowadays want to put their kids in preschool at such a young age? Perhaps they're busy working and no time to look after them. But at the thought of seeing them cry and wanting to look for their parents, I feel so heartache for them. In school, when they see those unfamiliar faces, everyone seems like strangers to them. The fear inside them aren't that easy to eliminate, plus they can't express what they want to convey in words. They can only cry to seek for their comfort. If I have the ability, how I wish I can know what they wanted to convey, how I wish I can help these 'babies' to find their comfort apart from seeking comfort from their parents.

When I got home today, I receive an unpleasant news from my mum. She went KK hospital for check up that time. She told me today the nurse called and told her an unpleasant news. After hearing it, she cried for the whole morning. The nurse asked her to take her report on nxt mon. Though the nurse only said my mum maybe got a lump, she didn't really confirm anything. Only that she asked my mum to take her report and the doc will tell her in details.

If I have the ability, how I wish I can take away all her illness, how I wish I can protect her from any harm. If I have the ability and power, how I wish when she gets the report, it is just a minor case. How i wish she wouldn't suffer from any illness and diseases, and she will live in longevity. But... I don't have the power and ability, I can only pray hard for her, pray hard for her that all these wouldn't affect her much. How I wish I can remove her burden and share it with her. How I wish I really can...

~这世界就这么不公平吗？难道说就不能快快乐乐的过日子吗？~

2010

2010-01-02T00:46:00.010+08:00

Start of a brand new year, yet it started like that. I don't wish for everything to be like that, and seriously, I dislike it. Rahh... Perhaps i shouldn't control, or perhaps I shouldn't say anything at all. Suppose to be a happy day, yet it turn out like tat? Sometime I'm wondering should I be a mute? Coz I don't need to say anything at all...

Faults faults faults... I don't understand why the word is called 'faults'. And I hate this word... I'm such a lousy person, such a girl that is not that caring, and keep making him push the faults to himself. =( Is it everything must be like that? The word 'tired', physically or mentally? Tired... It's easy to say, yet nth much can do to ameliorate the feeling. I'm feeling that all the time, I tried to change, but guess it's not improving...

Can anyone tell me what must I do? What should I do to change it? I don't wish to be tired... Perhaps I don't really understand... Haiz... =(

~ 如果说我是雨滴，我想掉落在大海里。这样就没人会知道我的踪影，也没人知道我的存在... ~

hate sunday!

2009-12-27T19:54:00.011+08:00

It's Sunday again, yet I'm at home doing nth. Haiz... Can imagine the feeling of loneliness when u're at home doing nth? And he was busy the whole day painting his house, didn't really sms him that much. Though ytd I asked him can go out or not, he said he can't go out the whole day coz he need to paint the whole day, I then asked him want go jog or cycle in the evening. He said he will paint till night coz got 2 room, then can't go. My heart a bit sad, but it's ok since he's busy.

Then he said he meeting his friends around 4, my heart sank deeper. Meet friends can, meet me just for that little moment to jog or cycle, not free. Awww~ I didn't mean anything, just want to meet u that little while. Yet u asked your mum coz your friends asked u meet them. =( My heart felt terribly, perhaps I should let u meet ba coz I can't control u much.

Went jogging alone in the evening, he wanted to meet me but I rejected. Coz raining and it's quite late, it's troublesome for him to come and go back home. Think he quite relax ba, meet his friends and still get to play. Yet I'm just so lonely... Wanted to tell him how badly I missed him, but don't think it's the right mood.

Reached home bath, he still have not reach home. Worry for him coz so late le. Called him up, chat with him a while, told him how I felt the whole day. In the end, what I get was a sentence made my heart so pain, "still say u want to change, still say want to be good, after 1 day becomes the same again. " Haiz... When I heard this, jus feel like my heart being pierce by a huge arrow. I didn't change... That's what he meant. Before i hang up, I said bye bye to him, yet what I get was he hang up my phone.

Perhaps I'm that irritating, really wanted to tell him how I feel, wanted to tell him my feelings and loneliness. But what I got was that little 'scolding' from him. Haiz... Nobody understand how I felt at that moment. How I wish I got a hole and hide inside, so that I won't be so miserable, so that i won't feel heartbreaking. Guess he won't know all these... And just don't wish him to know... Perhaps u should experience how I feel... The feeling of loneliness...

~难道跟你说我心里面的话，换来的却是伤心的回答吗？或许藏在心里面就可以了。。。 ~

2009-12-26T02:02:00.005+08:00

No matter how pretty or nice looking the appearance is, inside it, it just seems to be empty. It appears so sweet, appears so lovely and nice, but inside the outer case, everything seems like a stranger. Everything seems so empty inside... Now then I know, it's so hard to live in this world, trying to let the appearance stays as pretty and nice as it could be. Now then I know, everything seems like a stranger to me.

Perhaps I'm the one causing it, perhaps I'm the one who ruin all these. I tried to change, perhaps u didn't see the change in me. But I really do change, it's not say change then change, it's not like miracle one day can change totally. There'll be some remains in it, let time overtake everything, so that u can see the change. But that minamal change of mine, perhaps it's just invicible in u.

~ I'm in a floating boat in a huge ocean. I hope it's raining heavily so that no one knows I'm crying... ~

Merry Christmas!!!

2009-12-25T22:55:00.006+08:00

Ho ho ho~ Merry Christmas to everyone!!! Hope everyone did enjoy on this wonderful Christmas day. I did enjoy too, of coz it's with my laogong. ^^ Went cwp with him in the afternoon, though that's the place we always go yet nth to shop about. Nonetheless, we still walk around. =) Went tz with him and we top up our card coz it's double bonus today. Then as usual, I watched him play, which this job I haven't been doing it for around 1 month coz I'm working.

I'm a Santa Claus today to my twinees. Went tz and redeemed 2 set of cooking toys for them and 1 box of Lego bricks, spent quite a number of tickets but it's worth it. ^^ Went home with laogong coz he's staying for dinner at my house. My mum cooked curry chicken coz she knew laogong coming for dinner. And he ate 3 bowls of rice, that's pretty a lot ya? Just glad that he enjoyed tonight's dinner. ^^

Finished eating then I distributed the presents to my twinees, they seemed to love it lots. ^^ Watched them have such a sweet cheers on their face, and made me realised I'm glad to have my twinees coz they're just so adorable. Then sent laogong down and he walked home. Had a wonderful Christmas this year, and I told laogong I want to celebrate it with him every year. And he agreed! XD Next time we'll go for a sumptuous lunch or dinner. Hahaz...

Tml will be going Marina barrage with laogong for an event. I'm such a mountain tortoise coz i have never been to Marina barrage before. Shall have an eye opener tml. ^^

~ My life filled with all sorts of sweetness with you! ~ n.n

19th birthday!

2009-12-11T23:15:00.006+08:00

Times flies so fast, and I just past my 19th birthday. This year will be the last year of my teenage life, going to be 20 nxt year. Age start with a 2 in front isn't that nice after all, coz it sounds old. Hahaz... But then luckily my birthday is in dec, and i still get to enjoy being 19 for quite a long time while others will reached their 20 soon. XD

Celebrated my birthday last sunday, organised a bbq at the pit opp my block. Invited my 3 besties (MH, JW & YH), my 2 babes (Wan er and SY), and my 3 good friends that were in the smae class as me for sec 1 and 2 ( YY, Wei Ken and Wee Chang), not to forget SY's bf who was my classmates too (YL). Must thanks everyone for coming over to my bbq despite the busy schedule. Really appreciate it lots and lots.

Actually, the presents that they gave weren't the best of all, it was their presence that made the bbq wonderful and enjoyable. I'm sorry if I'm not a good host, but I hope everyone enjoys the time when we got to get tgt and chat chat. ^^ It's been ages since we met, and I'm glad we met last Sunday.

And and my laogong too, life is so wonderful with him around. Simple love the 2 piglets he gave me for my presents. Hoho¬ Know what? Now my bed is full of soft toys, especially piglets, they flood my bed. Hahaz... And i got 1 small one, 1 piglet in pyjamas, 1 middle one, 1 big piglet shoe where I can put my 2 feet in it, and 1 big Christmas piglet. Wait till I upload my pics then u'll know the piglets on my bed. XD

Oh well¬ Have been busy with work in my preschool, mon to fri, 9 to 6. And can imagine I'm working with kids in nursery and kinder gardens? Hahaz... It's fun anw, coz their laughter really makes my day. But sometimes they are so hard to control that u feel as if your blood vessel will burst any moment. Perhaps that's quite exaggerating, but sometimes u're so angry that u can't get to be angry. Contradicting hor? XD

Shall upload pics soon, quite lazy nowadays. And I got lots of things to do. End of 2009 is coming, so lets treasure every moments of the last part of 2009. Take care! =)

grown up!

2009-11-27T20:58:00.006+08:00

Oh well~ It's been 2 weeks since I blog, so shall update about my life for these days. I found a job at tpy, working as an assistant teacher in a preschool, means nursery and kinder garden. Started working for a week or so, and I'm glad that i work there coz working with kids is really great. I was assigned to K1 B class and those kids are really fun. XD I enjoyed my this one week there, and will continue to work there coz I really enjoy the working environment.

People do say children create laughter, and will brighten up the atmosphere. And I agree with this, coz those kids are really such a joy. Sometimes u wouldn't expect what they will do and all that. Ytd was their concert where they got to dance one english song and one chinese song. Before their turn to perform, we were in the class waiting. They were so hyper, ran around, talk to each other.

I experienced a sense of warmth and lovely feeling ytd when I was in the class with the 19 kids waiting for their turn to perform. 1 of the little girls just came to me and sit on my lap naturally, just like very close to me. Soon, a few more kids crowd around me and wanted to talk to me. Though I was only there for 1 week, u can feel that those kids were somehow attached to u and become closer to u as the days go by. And the most happy thing is they remembered my name just 1 day after. ^^

Perhaps that's the motivation for me everyday to wake up early in the morning to go quite a far place to work. Though sometimes I feel sleepy, once I think of those lovely kids, I got the signal to get up of my bed and prepare to have a full lovely day ahead. I guess that was the only motivation for me everyday, and now then I know that my life can be such a wonderful thing as I never experienced it before.

Ever since I work, I don't have much time for u my dear. But then, try to bear with me ya? Try to understand me a little, coz sometimes, I also don't want it to be like that. And am i really a changed person? I also don't understand why, but then, I felt a little ache in my heart when i heard that. Just let it be I guess, time will heal.

~Perhaps I am a changed person... ~

happy vs vexed

2009-11-17T23:25:00.004+08:00

Today my parents and my 4 sis returned from their trip to HK. Was looking forward to it coz I really miss them lots. Went down to the airport with laogong and my grandma to fetch them. Saw them coming out from the arrival hall, was really happy to see them expecially twinees. Miss the days when they weren't around with me. Hug them when I saw them, but to them, I'm like a stranger, like they don't recognise me somehow.

Saw my dad, but his face was so black, wonder what happen to him. Then took taxi home, my sis told me all the things that happen. Either my dad got some dispute with my mum, or my dad got disputes with my sis all that. Felt a little giddy in the taxi, but then still ok.

Reached home and I felt that home is still the best. But here comes the unhappy part. Don't know why they went HK for 4 days, all came back like alot of days didn't shout or angry. Then keep on shouting and make noise all that, made me feeling super giddy and vexed. My sis bought for me a pink wallet, was really happy about it. And i asked my mum to buy the white colour monkey T-shirt for laogong, they did, was feeling happy at 1st.

But then, asked my sis help clear up the mess the twinees created, she said she busy. So i helped to clean up. Then she asked me to exchange the wallet with her. Coz her friend wanted the pink one, asked me to have the blue one. I'm already vexed, then I told her I don't want it. She said she at first already planned to give me either purple or blue. Then? Still asked me to choose myself the colour I want? =( Forget it ba~

Then my dad said I lied to him last time, said last time we went HK disneyland, I bought a cap for my sis. Actually I bought the cap is for myself, yet he said I lied to him say I bought for my sis. Haiz... Then said about the T-shirt all that. VEXED!!!

Know they're tired after their trip, but can don't say things that made me cried? Tears were rolling down, just felt that though they're at home, I felt so empty and lonely. Wanted to talk lots of things to them, but they seem so busy. =( Though they're at home, I don't know why I can't sense their presence except for their noise and voice. Haiz...

Today wasn't a very good day, don't know why everything don't seem to fix up properly, like missing puzzles here and there. Just hope for a better tml I guess.

~Loneliness in me is still there, wonder when will it go off? ~

empty house~

2009-11-09T21:12:00.007+08:00

My house is going to be really empty in just another 5 more days. My whole family except me and my bro will be going to hong kong this coming sat. My dad just won a lucky draw with a free airticket to hong kong. That's why he's bringing my mum, the 3 little ones and my sis to go there again. Since me and my bro just went not long ago, we will be staying here in singapore.

The feeling of loneliness is inside me, coz I know my house will be really quiet during this weekend up till nxt tues. My grandma will be coming to take care o me and my bro. And the whole house will not be as noisy and lively as now. I know I've grown up, but then never in my life have I experienced my house being so quiet. If my uncle doesn't stay with us, and ifmy grandma doesn't come and take care of us, I'll every every moment for that 4 days. Coz my house is really empty.

Oh well~ I just hope they'll have a safe journey to hong kong and come back safely too. I'll miss them pretty alot I guess. And as for sure, if i send them off, u can see my crying and crying non stop even if I reach home. Coz I can't bear to be separated from my parents and my twinees, and of coz bao yi and pei kuan. Awww~ I'm so gonna miss them. ='( While they are busy packing, I'm feeling a little sorrow.

~Nothing could describe my feelings now. A sense of little fear and the feelings of loneliness deep inside me~

sudden mixed feelings

2009-11-03T22:22:00.004+08:00

Experienced a sudden feeling of sorrow... Don't know what's got into me, perhaps coz of the little dispute with my mum. And she ignored me from 8 plus till now, perhaps I should let it be like that. My dad and my mum maybe going to HK soon. Coz my dad won an air ticket to HK and he's planning to bring my mum and my 4 sis go. SInce I had go there before which was not long ago, I'm not included in the trip.

Oh well~ If they really go, left me and my bro at home. My mum is planning to ask my grandma come to my house to watch over the 2 of us. Coz she scared my bro wouldn't want to come home for that 3 nights. But if 6 of them really go, I bet I'm going to cry for that 4 days 3 nights. See how it goes~

Tml going for an interview for assistance teacher. Hope everything's fine for me, and I want that job too. Wish me good luck ya? ^^

jia you~

2009-11-02T00:20:00.003+08:00

Tml shall be the day, or in fact it's today, 14 more hours to go. I know it's really tough for him to study for his retake, but then I believe he can do it ya? U have my support my dear, and I'll cheer for u. Just believe that u can do it ya? It doesn't really matter how much u know, what matter is that u have work hard for it, and study hard for it too. Tml just do your best, and I'm sure u can do it. ^^

3 papers to go ya? After these 3 papers, laogong can enjoy provided that u have really fought hard for it. And when u get your results next year, I'm sure u'll will be satisfied. Laopo support u harx. hehez... U have me by your side ya? Laogong Jia You!!!

For 4 months, I'm jobless and stay at home everyday to help my mum look after my twinees. They have grown, and super naughty at times. But then, my house is super lovely and lively with them around. They know how to call us and everytime we asked them to call us, the twinees will say, "da jie wo ai ni". Sweet right? ^^

Slacking through for my life now, but will soon get a job probably next week. Looking forward to work and for laogong to finish his retake. I just love the way we are, and will stick thru thick and thin tgt. I love u laogong~ ^^

~7 months 28 days, & it's still counting...~ n.n

updates~

2009-10-21T00:21:00.005+08:00

Well... back to my post again abt my trip to Hong Kong and Guang Zhou. Hehez...

13.10.09 [3rd day]
Headed to Guang Zhou via coach bus, and the jouney in the bus lasted 4 hours. The duration was like the flight I took from here to Hong Kong, super long~ Hahaz... By the time I reached Guang Zhou, it's already 5 plus. And my grand-uncle came to fetch us. We got to squeeze with the people that just finished work on the MRT, which they call MTR.

They went to my great-grand aunt's house which was opp our hotel. Cool lei, just a walk to the opp building and it's there. She's really old, 86 years of age. But still living quite healthy and cheerful too. They spoke in cantonese which me and my bro can't understand. Hahaz...Went eat dinner and that's day 3.

14.10.09 [4th day]
Went for a heritage tour to a building quite famous in GZ, called the陈家祠. It's a place like those old buildings where the ancestors built in the past, a so called their house. But it's really big, we spent our whole day there just going around to view the place. Bought lots of souvenirs there adn guess what? My dad supposed to pay over HK$1200 (~SG$240) for all those things we bought. In the end, he only paid around HK$450 (~SG$90), up to 70%-80% discount. OMG~ Coz our grand-aunt was the chief at that place in the past, but now she's retired.

Super cool~ Then I realised if the people there had a high position at their workplace, even if they retired, they still hold a certain authority and power there. Cool~ Hahaz... Happy to buy so many things in the end we just had to pay a little. XD But found out that there de people, esp teemagers aren't that good in manners. Even bad in manners than teenagers here.

15.10.09 [5th day]
Went back to HK via bus again coz our flight back to SG was at the HK airport. Reached the hotel was around 5 plus. Rest a while and had our last walk. Can imagine since day 1, we had been walking over 10 streets down from our hotel. And on the last day, we still walked more than 10 streets down to the 女人街 (sought of like bugis street, except there was outdoor). Last chance to buy all the things we wanted to buy. XD

16.10.09 [last day]
Weeee~ Finally after so many days overseas, it's time to go back to my home. Hahaz... Took a 4 hours flight back and I'm super happy that day. Coz my laogong came down with my mum they all to fetch me. And at that time, I got the chance to introduce him to my dad. Hehez... All along, didn't want my dad to know coz I'm scared he'll nag or sth. But then that day, they finally met each other. Plus my dad accept him too. Yeah! Delighted! *jump to the joy* ^^

It's really fun to visit HK and GZ, brought back fond memories plus a bit of unhappy thoughts. Overall, still must thanks my dad for footing all the expenses for me and my bro. Hees... Hope my grandma enjoys her trip too. Next time wan go other places with all my family members, perhaps taiwan next. Hahaz...

i'm back!

2009-10-16T23:04:00.004+08:00

Weeeeee~ I'm back! Was away to Hong Kong and Guang Zhou for the past 6 days, enjoyed myself lots and bought lots of things back too. 6 days passed quite fast, and here I am posting abt my trip to china. It's wonderful to visit my great-grand aunt there in Guang Zhou, and she's 86 years old! Hahaz... 2 days in HK at first, then wend to GZ for 2 days and then went back to HK again for 2 days. Quite tiring actually, but it's fun fun fun!

11.10.09 [1st day]
Woke up early to go to the airport as my flight was 10. A little she bu de my laogong and my mum and twinees, but then still ok. Was crying when I called my mum at the airport, coz she cry i also cry. 6 days to be separated from her, I'm going to miss her so much. On the plane, there was a period of time where the turbulence was really big. Keep on holding on tight to my piglet coz I'm quite scared actually. But every thing's fine.

Reached HK already 5 plus, reached the hotel 6 plus. rest awhile then went to eat and walk walk. 1st day was soon over coz most of the time was travelling.

12.10.09 [2nd day]
This was the day I had lots of fun, love the day especially. Know why? Coz we went to Disney land. Ho ho ho~ Morning ate breakfast then we took their MTR (at here is MRT) to Disney land. The journey wasn't that long, reached there around 11 plus. The train to Disney land was super cool, coz the windows and handles all that are mickey mouse shape. Hahaz... Bought tickets at around HK$1000 over for 4 of us.

Then our magical journey began where we played alot at Disney land. The part that I don't like was the demon house, like those ghost house where u had to walk in the dark. Stupid house, scared me really alot. Was crying on the way out coz I'm simply just scared of all these things. My dad hug me ask me no need scared. Awww~ So pai seh narh. XD

Then went eat and continued playing. Then sth unpleasant happened when we were buying souvenirs before going back. Don't really wish to rem as I really hate it alot. Haiz... It's really a shocking news for me, coz I respect her really alot, but then this thing happened which made my thinking change a little. She wasn't suppose to do that, yet she did, and she wouldn't do that, but she did it. Haiz... Was crying over it at night when I called my mum to tell her abt it. Awww~

But now every thing's ok, it just will keep on repeating in my mind again and again. Coz I can't persuade myself into believing that. Haiz... Let bygones be bygones.

Shall continue posting abt my trip tml. Coz I'm tired today le, sat for 4 hours flight and now I'm still using com when everyone in my house is asleep. Hahaz... XD Kkies~ Updates and photos be back soon~ Tata~ ^^

7 months!!!

2009-10-06T00:16:00.003+08:00

It's our 7th month on sunday, and I'm happy with what I have now in my life. 200% satisfied and glad that I have him with me by my side that dote on me so much. If it wasn't for him, I don't know how will I overcome those obstacles alone, how will I be strong when certain unhappy things came about. And I know we have indeed gone thru alot, be it whether is from your family or my family. We both have grown up in our this sweet little relationship ya? I believe we can sustain and prove to that tortoise. XD

Went bugis on sunday to go bai bai at the guanyin temple there. 2nd time went there with laogong, quite enjoyable though the hot sun was there. Hahaz... Then went bugis street walked walked around and headed back to cwp. He played max tune as usual, and the last time for playing coz his exam coiming soon. Laogong... Wait till your retake over then laopo return u your platinum card ya? Must be my good boy orh. ^^

This sunday going to Hong Kong and China [guang zhou]. Going to visit a distant relative who is my gandma's aunt, which means is my great-grand aunt. Hahaz... Only my grandma, my dad, my bro and me going on this sunday. 3 days hong kong, 2 days guang zhou. And I definitely know I'm going to miss my laogong badly. Hope I wouldn't cry that day coz it's my 1st time going to part with laogong for so many days. Whenever I think of it, tears will roll down a bit.

Shall buy gifts when I visited Hong kong coz it's shopping paradise. Ho ho ho~ Xp Half looking forward to it half don't wish it so fast come. Coz I can't bear with laogong, but laogong must wait for me to come back hor. Will buy gifts for u and laogong must be good here in singapore harx. ^^ Update the nxt time round, probably after I come back from my trip. ^^

~ hardwork will pay off for your retake. Jia you! ~

jealousy~

2009-09-29T01:03:00.006+08:00

~ Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness and disgust. ~

-taken from wikepedia

Hmmm... People often say maybe girls tend to get jealous easily, perhaps it's quite true for me. It's the emotion which no one can avoid or suppress it. And that's the emotion I hate most, coz that emotion doesn't stand alone, it combines with many other negative emotions. Jealousy may appear as a word alone, but it comes with anger, fear and alot anxiety. I guess jealousy can know how a person reacts and reveal the person's personality.

Long ago, I used to show off my temper whenever that jealousy met me. But now, my temper change, maybe due to all the unpleasant things that made me grown up. So when that jealousy meet me again, I choose to stay calm, then slowly question then finally that jealousy will go away. But I hate it whenever it comes, especially when it brought along that person. Don't know why but it's just a dislike in me.

So whenever JEALOUSY comes, don't scram or show off your temper immediately, coz that's the trap it set up in the 1st place. Cool down then question, then if u still not satisfied or it hasn't go away, then just scram to let off your anger. Coz if u suppress it further, it reach beyond your limit, and blast off should suit that moment. But must cool down after that, then think thru and then think of solutions to solve that jealousy. =)

~ " Yet he was jealous, though he did not show, for jealousy dislikes the world to know it " ~
-by Lord Byron

~ " The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves " ~

-by Willian Penn

hang on...

2009-09-19T17:22:00.007+08:00

I guess it's the crucial period this time, that's why alot of unhappy things cropped up almost everyday. But if they really come to find me and talk, I'm not scared at all. Coz I did nth wrong, plus I got my mum and laogong with me, I'm not scared orh. I only scared later his family all treat him so bad, and I'm not by his side to help him hang on. Laogong... No matter what they say, must hang on. Hang on for the sake of yourself, hang on for the sake of me, and hang on for our better future.

Laogong... We don need meet everyday to maintain our love, as long as our hearts beat as one, no matter how hard it is, we'll still go on. Perhaps it's a form of dependency that we must meet everyday, but I'm sure we can hang on. And must prove to your mum and bro that you'll pass your retake this year, so that they wouldn't say u useless anymore. In my eyes, you are not useless at all. So laogong must study well, and jia you! Like that we wouldn't let others look down upon us.

The most impt thing is I'll wait for u, wait for u to finish your retake, wait for u to finish your NS when u go in nxt year. And if anyone still ask u to stop our relationship first then ask u find other girls when u finish NS, I'll make sure I shut his mouth. Shut his mouth and tell him strongly and firmly that I'll wait for u. Throw the words, " Who say I can't wait for him? Who say our love cannot last? Who say we can't go on after his NS?" into that person's face. If anyone were to ask me, I'll say firmly the 5 words, " I will wait for you! " See they'll shut their mouth or not.

Laogong... No matter what, we will hang on. And prove to those idiotic people that whatever they say, it's WRONG. Coz nobody knows what we've gone thru, nobody knows how we are impt to each other. If they still say that, then they don't know what the 4 letters LOVE means. They don't even know the meaning of true love, and I believe it exists in this world. We will last for them to see, and shut off their stupid mouth. Trust me, we will!

~ Our love isn't that fragile, for we trust in each other ~ ^^

heart ache

2009-09-17T00:44:00.008+08:00

Unhappy things always spoil the mood for the whole day even if your day starts out refresh and well. Today was supposed to be a happy day for us. Went party world with my laogong and sis. We sang happily and totally enjoy our day. But the cruel and frightening night came... That little moment totally made my heart sank to the bottom of the cliff, made my mood dropped to the end. When I saw the sms, I totally feel like fainting, feel as if I don't have energy at all.

Lots of thoughts just gushed into my mind and I was thinking, what did I do to turn things out like tat? Was crying on the way when i walked home from my bus stop, but stopped when my mum came to fetch me. Wanted to ask her for opinions, but just couldn't bring myself to mention it. Rahh... Why am I like this? For 18 years, I'm those obedient girl that wouldn't create trouble all that. But for the very 1st time, I'm being said by someone who will be an impt person to me the nxt time.

I didn't want it to happen that way, I didn't mean to. How I wish they weren't like that, how I wish me and him wasn't treated like that. I really feel heart pain for him to suffer all this, yet I can't do anything at all. Didn't help him but add on to his problem some more. A sense of fear and worried just appear in me which I can't explain at all. Neither do I know how it comes about nor how it appear in me. The aura on her makes me step back, makes me want to hide. Ever since after that day she wanted to talk to me, whenever I think of it, an unknowing fear just came about.

I don't want it like that, perhaps what she said sounds logical also. Haiz... Can anyone understand what am I happening now? I'm at a lost... How I wish i can help him, but I don't have the wisdom and guts to help him. If anyone of his family members just saw this, just blame it on me, don't blame everything on him. He suffers alot already, all these quarrels made him no mood to concentrate on his study. If you all want him good, then please help him, not just by quarrels, but really help him... Haiz...

Perhaps I write this adds on more fuel in them, but I really don't know what to do. 'Please' is the only word, please please please. I rather I suffer for him, at least he'll do good for his retake. I rather I carry all the scoldings and sayings all that, then he wouldn't think that he is a nth to them. If I have the chance and courage, I'll talk and help him...... If I really have... Haiz...

*I will stay with you no matter what, and I hope our genuine love will prove to other people that we stay strong no matter what*
* My heart aches when I post this, my hand trembles when i type this, fear stays in me when I think of it. *

6 months--half a year!

2009-09-07T23:04:00.013+08:00

Weeee~ Shall come here to update my blog coz have been a long time I didn't update my blog le. Hmmm... The year is approaching the last quater in another month time, and time really flies that fast. And half a year have passed for me and him! Awww~ Last fri was our 6th month anniversary! Was very happy to be with him all this while, and I'm glad he's with me all this while too. Went AMK last fri to have steamboat with laogong, and it's cheap yet can fill our stomach. But I guess he ate lots more than me. Xp

6 months isn't that easy to pass alone, yet I passed this 6 months happily with him. There may be some disputes and quarrels all that, but then most of our time is filled with happiness and joys, laughters and smiles. Hehez... Just love the way we are, and I want it to continue that way too, till many many months and till many many years. Shhhh~ *our promise* ^^

He did a thing today that made me touched and happy. Today wasn't suppose to meet him coz his fyp end till quite late. Then after his fyp finished, I called him and he said he buying mac for his dinner. Then after that he sms me said he reached home and going to bath le, and I replied I going to bath too. Then I sat on the sofa playing psp a while, just then my bro told me to open the door. Then I heard my laogong's voice!!! Awww~ He came my house narh, and it's really really a surprise for me. He passed the mac happy meal for me, that wasn't his dinner narh, it's for me.

Isn't he cute? Hehez... Ytd he invented a new 'hans happy meal' for me to cheer me up whenever I'm sad. Then was a bit moody today, he used his hans happy meal to cheer me up, but then wasn't that effective. And I didn't know that he bought a real mac happy meal with doraemon toy. Awww~ I'm happy happy! Weee~ Love him lots narh, he's just my cute boy. Xie xie laogong!

Shall post some pics to do the rest of the updates. Take care all! Toodles~
p.s: Love him the way he is!

*my piglets* Xp

*"family" photo*

*sweet neoprint* ^^

*muacks* >.<

*my sweet laogong* =)

updates

2009-08-30T23:52:00.004+08:00

Hmmm~ Quite relaxing these few days, meet up yi hui and jing wen last thurs go Lot 1 eat New york new york. Quite ex, coz no working then no income. XD Now only rely on my 1 and only tuition. Going on well for 6 lessons, then next week 2 more lessons will get my tuition fee. Hahaz... Not that much, but at least I still have income. Quite fun to teach tuition also, coz interesting things going on. Plus that girl girl quite cute and nice. Xp

Just found out sth and realise sth. But then not sure what should I do. The thing I found out, not sure what to do and not sure how should I say. Hmmm~ Maybe the truth will be out someday ba, then perhaps should just let nature takes its course. Then the thing I realise, not sure to confront or not. But then, don't want to do things that make ppl think it's silly. Perhaps should just be like that ba. Or maybe someday I cannot take it and will eventually confront.

Let everything be like that, be as it is, coz I don't want mess anything up. Oh well~ Tml teachers' day eve, and it's teachers' day celebrations. The day when teachers will go home early and no need to teach. XD Don't think will go back IJ coz the other 3 not free, but we going back this wed to pass gifts to our beloved Ms tan! Miss her alot, plus miss my 0724A! Plus all the teachers that put in effort to teach us. Wish all teachers HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!

~ Moving on with my life, I hope u too ~ ^^

happy boy~

2009-08-18T23:14:00.004+08:00

I think everything's well for me but not for him. His fyp started again, and think he's really stress. Plus this week he got exams too, and he's still studying now, chiong-ing for exams tml. Thurs and sat he have exams too, and I really heart pain to see him study and study, stress and stress. Can only jia you and cheer for him. ^^

Went out with my dear sis today to buy present for my elder twins, coz their bdae tml. XD So we went admiralty. At 1st, she want buy the hair lotion, but then no stock. Waste our trip~ So we went to the pasar malam there. Bought a hp casing for my laogong's new phone, samsung preston. Ho ho ho~ Though need spend money, as long as he's happy, I'm happy too. Then bought a $10 dress for my sis also.

After that headed back to cwp, went around to look for my bro's present. Don't know what to buy, coz guys' present quite hard to buy. Finally went 77th street bought a formal tee for him. The T-shirt quite nice, share the cost with my sis. Then it's my sis's turn to choose her present. Hahaz... Bought her shoes and she gave me 20 cents, for lucky narh. Then went tz play play a while, after that decided to go home.

But then we walked past 'check' and saw havaianas slippers, don't know why got the urge to buy it. So asked my sis want buy tgt, she say ok. Bought a pink slippers for me, and my sis bought black slippers. Awww~ Guess what? For today only, I spent almost $100 for their present plus my slippers. Heart pain! I jobless now still spend so much. 捶心肝~~ >.<

Tml going to eat long john and watch movie (吓到笑) with him, happy happy worx. But then tml he still need study for thur's test, so can't play that much. Hehez... That's all for today, update more next time. Still want to say here: Xin ku ni le laogong, no matter what, laopo will be by your side help u jia you de. ^^

~ As long as you're happy, I'm happy too ~ n.n

nothing to say

2009-08-14T22:39:00.007+08:00

Haiz... Had a little dispute with him today. Don't really know what to say, and don't really know what to do. Know whatever I say, it'll still be like that ba. I didn't say I don't believe u at all, I don't really mean that. Haiz... Should be a happy day today I guess, but think it spoils both of our mood also ba.

Perhaps I don't really know u ba, or maybe I don't understand u ba. U worry for me yet I don't even know. But then, that's not the meaning I want. Ever wonder what ur laopo do whenever u are playing? Wondering around, chat with auntie, play free game and watch u play. For all this while, I don't mind at all. As long as u do what u like, as long as u're happy, I'm happy enough. But don't know why today seems diff for me.

Know how I feel? Just feel that u neglected me, the moment u sit down, that's the moment I started to feel the feelings I had today is diff from any other days. Don't know why also, but then I seems neglected. Gone missing from arcade for half an hour, yet I don't receive calls from u at all. Know u worry for me, but cannot put down your game and look for me? Cannot don't play for that day also?

I don't ask for much, and I admit I do have alot of patience and I'm really a good girl. Perhaps today's good girl have a limit also, today's good girl is angry with reasons too, and today's good girl isn't that good after all. I still rem when I neglected u last time during my work, perhaps today is my turn ba. Don't wish to comment anything, perhaps I'm quiet, that's why u didn't know my feelings at all ba. Haiz... U should be angry when u see this ba, then I'm sorry about that. Alot of things I don't really mean anything. I'm sorry if it really spoils your day, dui bu qi... I'm sorry for everything I said to make u think for the meaning I don't mean at all. 对不起...

* I love walking in the rain, coz no one knows I'm crying*

sick laogong, worry laopo

2009-08-09T00:55:00.006+08:00

Awww~ Weather nowadays extremely not good, and can say it's really bad. Have been sick for 1 week since last sun, now then I recover. Started with sore throat, then flu, after that fever. Then when I was recovering, thurs fever again. Didn't see doc, but then got eat medicine. Now then healed from all those illness. And guess what? He sick today narh. Haiz...

Wanted to go out gai gai tgt since it's saturday, that's what we always do. But then, the moment he came my house, touch his forehead quite hot. Asked my mum got what medicine can let him eat. Let him eat after that let him rest on my bed. Poor laogong~ Sick le still want go out with me. Haiz... 4 plus we then go cwp walk walk a while nia, after that 6 he have to go home. Didn't really have much time with him. =(

And when he reached home, fever again. Worry for him narh, his immune system not that good, some more don't like eat bitter de. Awww~ How to go malaysia tml without worry? Tell me narh, how can I go back malaysia happily without having to worry about him? Some more I can't sms or call him also. Haiz... Jus pray hard that he'll recover tml asap ba.

5 months 5 days tgt, and time flies so fast. Recalling the days when we just get tgt, everthing seems like ytd. But it's not a dream at all, for it's happening in my real life, in front of my own eyes. Days have passed, months have passed, but then, it's still counting. Our days tgt is still counting right from the day we're tgt. I'm pleased with what I have now, pleased with him and his everything.

~ I'm satisfied with my life now, and I won't want to crave for more~ n.n

xiang ta

2009-08-02T14:02:00.005+08:00

It's another sunday! Don't know why sunday is the most boring day of the whole week. Perhaps is the day I cannot go out with him, or perhaps sunday is the day for family day, yet my family stays at home. Hahaz... Contradicting hor? Sunday should be the day for family to go out and enjoy, but then my dad stays at home sleeping. Maybe mon to sat work till very tired, then sun stays at home to refresh for the next week. =)

Ytd went novena with laogong. But then not much things to walk and shop also. Then we went QQ rice eat. I ordered one to eat he ordered one more to eat too. Coz it's super nice narh, plus add $1 for the milk tea. Yummy yummy~ Should go try if u feel like eating those rice and inside filled with 5 ingredients for u to choose. Hehez... Walked for a while then headed back to cwp.

As usual, he played his max tune and I have to walk here walk there. Nth to do worx, but then got play some games too. After that, wanted to walk home from cwp initially, but then after that seems quite late, so we took bus home. Alight at 1 bus stop before the bus stop near my house, then we walked home. It's sweet just to walk for that one-bus-stop distance with him. Coz u get to chit chat along the way too. ^^

Another week is going to pass, yet I'm still at home doing nth. Think got to find something to do to make my nxt 4 months useful, if not staying at home for too long will make me so lazy. Hahaz... Update next time ba. And take great care and drink lots of water. Coz the weather nowadays so unpredictable. My sore throat just heal last week and now it's coming back again. Awww~

~A sweet walk a while, keeps our unhappiness away~ n.n

misses

2009-07-26T18:06:00.010+08:00

Sunday wasn't that good afterall, coz it's a super boring day at home. Can't go out meet my baobei laogong, and he's boring too at home. Chat with him on msn just now and we played games tgt too. Though can't meet him, I still can msn and sms him too orh. He like a small kids to me like that, wait for me to dote on him, wait for me to pamper him too. Hehez... I don't have complains at all, coz I simply love the times when we are tgt.

It's super sweet to have someone to dote on u and for u to dote on. And I bet in this one lifetime, u really hope to find someone like that ya? And no matter how the other look like, or no matter what he do, u'll always put him on the no.1 place in your heart. And I'm glad I fount that no.1 in my heart too. That's when the time u will grow up and the time u don't wish to grow up.

Grow up coz u tend to understand the other one more and more as the days go by, u tend to be a little mature and understanding too. That's how it will be maintain and how it can last. Don't wish to grow up coz u'll always like to be protected by the other one, like the other one to dote on u and pamper u too. And of coz u'll always like to be in the other one's hug, a little warm hug from him will make my heart melts. That's how we show our love towards each other, plus a small little kiss on the forehead makes one feel so bliss to have him by your side.

And indeed I fount that other one, that other one that fulfils all the things I've listed above. Isn't it sweet and nice? =) Since I've found my that 'other one', I'll also do my part for his 'other one' too. And this is how we shall remain and stay as it is. Sweet little us~ ^^

*爱你, 不是因为你是个怎样的人,而是喜欢和你在一起的感觉。
即使在不同的地方，也有着相同的感觉. * n.n

sick~

2009-07-25T23:42:00.005+08:00

Weeee~ Today was a lovely day with my baobei laogong. Acc him to go city hall there buy his slippers, coz his slippers broken le, then need replace a new one. Hehez... He's waiting for this day to come, coz he only got that one pair, then need buy a new one. ^^

Went city hall, then after that went AMK coz he wanted to see his friends play max tune match. In the end the match ended before we went there, so we head back to cwp. Saw richard was still there though it's already 5 plus. Thought he suppose to go NP about 2 plus? Hahaz... Anw~ As usual, he play his max tune. Then I just wander around play those free games and ticket games. Happy for baobei laogong coz he got won some rounds worx. Cheers~

Was quite sick today, having flu and sore throat, and I didn't get H1N1 hor. XD Don't know why H1N1 is still out there in the society, and it starts to kill innocent ppl. Shall pray hard that it will go away soon so that we can lead our normal life, no need to fear this and that. Shoo shoo~

Perhaps that's what the 'retribution' we should get for destroying our home that is call the Earth? And realise the weather nowadays is super hot? El Nino coming on the way... Awww~ Perhaps we should really reflect on our daily life, or for the things mankind have done which cause such 'consequences' that we are having now. Everyone plays a part too.

Well~ Shall update more the next time. Hehez... My mind is going a bit blur coz I just ate my medicine. Take great care ya? And drink lots and lots of water coz the weather is sizzling hot. XD

*I don't mind doing anything just to make u happy. Love u lots baobei laogong<333*

2009-07-24T14:14:00.004+08:00

有个瞎子女孩和男孩在一起，
他们在一起时都很快乐，
男孩并不介意女孩是个瞎子。

就有那么一天，
瞎子女孩跟男孩说:"
如果我能看得到你，
我才愿意嫁给你。"

不久之后，
有为好心人愿意捐眼角膜给瞎子女孩。
终于让瞎子女孩等到了这么一天。

当手术结束之后，
女孩到处去找男孩。
她坐在一旁，等着男孩的出现。
男孩不久后便出现在女孩的面前。

原来女孩发现男孩也是个瞎子。
她对男孩说:"
原来你和我以前一样都是个瞎子。
对不起，我不想和你结婚。"

男孩并不介意，他微笑着对女孩说:"
没关系~ 不过你要答应我，
要好好照顾我的眼睛哦。"

Isn't it touching? From the boy side of view, as long as the other one is happy, he's willing to do anything. Sometimes for the loved ones, a person is willing to do anything just to let the other one happy. That's the wonderful thing about love, that's the nice thing about love. Isn't it beautiful? ^^

understanding

2009-07-20T22:30:00.008+08:00

Nowadays alot of things happened, be it happy or unhappy things. It's been 2 weeks plus since I left my workplace, and everyday I'm at home with my mum and my twinees! Gosh narh, everyday at home with my mum taking care of the 2 little monsters. My life now turns me into an aunty, whereby everday have to take care of the little monsters. Hahaz... And sometimes I follow my mum go eat, and sooner or later, I'll put on weight. XD

Last fri went ecp cycling with my 3 best friends, and we had so much fun. Hahaz... Then I realise I can ride those double bike where I'm in front controlling the steering. And the bike is like higher than my hips, and when I got on to the bike, my feet can't touch the ground. Hahaz... But it's cool and fun to cycle. =)

And last fri something unhappy happened, which made us quarrel till quite fierce, and just that a little bit more everything will break. But then, ever since after that day, we know our wrongs. And we learn to understand each other a little more, so that we can change for the better. I get to know him more and he get to know me more too. And I guess the 2 words will never ever come out again, coz I don't want to leave him.

Baobei laogong~ After that day, I choose to stay with u tgt, thru thick and thin, and to stay on with u till our very last day. No matter what, I wouldn't want to leave you, and will never ever give up on u. That's my very promise to u, and I'll hold on to it till the day I can't hold it anymore. I believe that we'll have a sweet future ahead, coz I know no matter what happens, u will be the one there for me definitely. We shall work hard for our sweet future ya?

Sometimes a little quarrel do let ppl know more of the other one, but then too big a quarrel may cause a sudden change in life. I'm glad that it didn't happen to me, and I know it wouldn't happen the next time round. No more next time! ^^ Just to say 包容是一种美丽的爱~

*Baobei laogong... Never will I leave u alone and never will I give up on u. I simply love u lots! No worries ya? Coz I'll be with u no matter what happens. n.n *

memories

2009-07-09T23:13:00.005+08:00

It's 1 week since I left tz, and time flies so fast. I'm living strong now, and I finally found my saviour who advice me on what steps should I take next. Awww~ Thanks charlotte jie jie! I'll move on with my life, and I know I have my family and my baobei laogong to support me. <3

Was tidying my cupboard this afternoon and alot of things brought me alot of memories. Perhaps there are good memories to reminisce with, or maybe some are just bad memories which I don't wish to recall. I browse through those neoprints that I took with my friends when I was in sec sch. And then, fond memories just flashed back at me. But then, some of those were just my regrets.

Regrets for losing such 'friends', perhaps the blame should be put on me. Maybe that's what I had to encounter and all those are just fate. It's fate for being so close with such once I call them "friends", and then it's also fate for our so called "friendship" to break. Haiz... It happened twice in my life, twice in my 18 years of life. People who knew what happened for these 2 incidents, perhaps that's my retribution ya? For being such a bad person, and for being not a good 'friend' to them at all, I'll just have to keep quiet for people to say me ba.

I'm moving on with my life now, and will keep on moving without turning my head behind to regret for my past. I'm sorry to all those that are hurt, I repent for what I had done. But then, that doesn't mean I will lay my head low, coz I'll face my life strongly. Shall give those 'friends' my blessings, and time will heal everything. ^^

~Memories~

~I know I have to be strong, and I know I have to carry on with my life happily~ ^^
*就是爱我的宝贝老公* <3

totally lost

2009-07-06T23:06:00.002+08:00

I'm totally lost now, don't know what steps should I take, don't know what should I do next. In my life now, there's a big obstacle in front of me which I don't know what should I do. Turn my head around and walk back, or remain in front of this obstacle and choose to give up? Or should I detour this big obstacle? Or perhaps I should really face it, pick up my courage and try to climb over it?

I chatted with jing wen, she adviced me on many things, my parents adviced me too. But then, frankly speaking, I'm scared, scared to face it. I admit I don't have the courage, don't have the element to pluck up my courage and face it. Coz no matter what, I did try my best, did put in the effort, perhaps it's not enough, not enough to have a smooth path ahead for me. That's why there's a big stone in front of me now, and I know I'll have to face it anyway.

I'm seriously tired, tired of everything. Live for 18 years, and I can say my 18th year is the toughest one, and the one that I need alot of energy and mood to live with it. Live for so long, no one ever treat me like that, this year is the first one. Guess it's my fate, guess it's the life that I should have for me. I seriously need someone to advice me, and I need someone to tell me what should I do.

I'm living in a totally lost world, yet no one can help me. Guess I have to depend on my own, to make my decision and live it with no regrets. And I know my family will support me no matter what. But then, I disappoint my parents the most, that's the only regret I have now. So I'll make my decision, so that I can account it to them.

~I'm tired to make decision, coz I don't know how. I'm tired to walk, coz I don't know where to go. I'm tired to hang on, coz I don't know can I survive. I'm tired to cry and I'm tired to shed tears, coz I know it wouldn't change anything.~

bad day

2009-06-26T01:04:00.004+08:00

Is it that people who are rich can do anything they want? Even scold other people when it's not their fault? Rahh... That's what I experienced today, this stupid customer scold me and my staff for nth! And we just follow the company's law yet he scolded us as if we did sth really wrong. Rich also cannot like tat treat other people. We got parents that born us and it's not that you want to scold then scold us for nth! In the end I cried coz u shouted at me directly into my face, and as if u're the big boss like tat. WTH?!

At 1st this week should be my last week, but then my manager asked me to extend 1 more week coz the full timer just arrive. Though I agree to him, I know my laogong unhappy about it. I'm sorry... I know I didn't keep my promise, and I know u're angry with me. But all I want to say is I'm really sorry...

Going off to sleep coz tml I work 9.30. My work really makes me so shag, and I don't wish to do any other things. =( Make my mood drop to the bottom of the cliff, and I quarrel with him so many times coz of my work. Haiz... Looking forward to the day I resign, but I know I'll miss the people there and cannot bear to leave.

Oh well~ Shall update the next time round. And my wisdom teeth is hurting me alot. Haiz...

~No matter what, I'm still a fortunate girl~ n.n

everything end

2009-06-17T02:07:00.002+08:00

I'm tired... Sick and tired of everything...... I don't wish to care anymore, I don't wish to think anymore. In my mind now, everything is blank, totally blank. Perhaps this is wat I should get for my retribution? Or perhaps, all these things that happened is what it should happen to me.

I'm too tired to hold on to this anymore, that's why I let go... Ended everything, so don't ask me anymore, coz I don't wish to say anymore. Truly disappointed, what I did for everything, in the end this is what I get. Just stop everything ba, no use harping on it.

I'm sorry my dear, to make u sad once again. I'm not a good girlfriend, didn't think of your feelings at all. Know u care for me that's why say all these to me, yet I still didn't change. Dui bu qi... Cannot leave me alone, coz I'm scared to be alone. Cannot leave me behind, coz I'm scared to live on without u.

Don't ever give up on me, don't ever fall, coz I wun be able to stand alone. Laogong feel sad let laopo hug hug and sayang u, laogong feel restless let laopo hold on to your hand and acc u walk. Laogong feel tired let laopo piggy back u if I can, or let laogong lie on me. That's what I promise u ya? The only thing that I want u to do is don't ever leave me, coz my life will be nothing without you. Muacks... >.<

*If it's wrong to love you, then I don't want it to be right* n.n

failed

2009-06-14T23:16:00.002+08:00

I failed... Haiz... In my world now, it seems dark, totally in completely darkness. I don't know what to do now, don't know what should I do next. I disappoint my parents, my dad the most. I don't know what's my next step at all, I'm stuck and my feet don't know where should I go. Retake never came across in my mind. Now my mind is in a whirl, yet I know I have to decide on sth. Anyone can help me? Advise on what steps should I take next? I need someone to advice where should I go?

This thing haven't settle fully yet another issue came just so suddenly. I never allow myself to go into this stage at all, but now I'm forced to do the things I don't want it to happen. Ever wonder what's the maximum capacity a person can bear with everything that happen? And wonder when will a person blast off without any warning at all? Now even a soft-hearted person can do that as long as he/she has reached the max of the max.

I'm waiting for it to come, and I shall not allow myself to get hurt at all. And I would protect my friend too, coz I treat her as one. ^^ The one that share the status I am now, the one that willing to attack with me, she know who she are. =)

I'm just tired of all these things, not my fault yet I'm the one that need to carry it. This is the 2nd time it happen to me. I haven attack yet, I haven even move, I haven even say anything at all. Yet I need to carry these burden with me. Kkies... I shall carry it with me, and till the day it come, pardon me for my sudden change of personality, coz this will be the only time I'll do that. I wun allow the next time to come, and I promise this will be the last and final one.

*It's going to end soon...*

*I love my laogong the most! And I know he'll be by my side always* n.n

tired

2009-06-09T12:04:00.004+08:00

Ytd was the start of the fresh week I should have. Yet the start of the week made me very tired, make me don't wish to welcome the other days. It's not smooth for me at all, it isn't is. Why must it happen that way? I've been working for around 6 months, and the most unhappiness things happened when I'm about to quit. At first want to quit end of june, ytd made me have the determination to quit nxt week. I really cannot take it anymore, my work made me and my laogong quarrel so many times. I hate it, really hate it.

Why are there so many scary ppl around? It really scared me alot, it made me so tired of working. I'm tired to handle such things, I really am. Staff like that, customers also like that. I cried 5 times in total ytd. First was when I'm working, then on the bus way home, next was when I'm walking home from the bus stop. I sat down on the bench at my block downstairs. I don't wish to listen to calls and sms, I just want to have peace. I cried out, really cried out.

Last 2 times were when I'm chatting with my laogong. Laogong~ I'm really sorry I didn't think of u, I'm sorry I didn't put myself in your shoes. Dui bu qi...

Tired is the word to describe me for now, not physically tired, but mentally tired. I hate working there, really tires me alot. Made me don't wish to carry on walking. I can't tolerate anymore, will quit earlier, probably nxt week. And on my last day of work, I'll blast all out. Don't blame me for doing this, coz I'm really tired!

Laogong~ Will quit de, give me some more time ya? I'm really sorry to let u cry. Dui bu qi...

Maybe to u all, I'm 18, should learn how to grow up and think maturely. But deep inside my heart, I'm just a small little girl. I just want to be normal, just want to lead a happy life. Isn't that simple? Why can't it be done? I'm really tired...

During work... If I keep quiet, don't ask me why, coz I don't wish to talk. If I don't look at u, don't look at me, coz I'm crying. If I didn't say anything, just let me be. I'm tired!

piss off, tired, upset, disappointed, stress-up

tired!

2009-06-01T23:58:00.002+08:00

Life is full of obstacles, and u really have to face it and wait patiently. Have been waiting for my uni letter and it haven't come yet. Haiz... My mum say the letter haven't come is better than the letter come. Coz if letter come and it reject me, then I really don't know what to do. At least my ntu application is still processing, and it means a little hope and little light down the road. =) Just hope that when it really come, it gives me the sparks of my life.

2 more days and it will be our 3rd month le ya? Really enjoy the days I spend with him, and we are growing sweeter. ^^ Laogong~ I know we may have a little dispute nowadays, and I know I made u worry for me alot. Really sorry... Made u cry and made u so sad, I'm such a bad laopo. =(

Next time will not do it again, know laogong scared of losing me. But must believe in me ya? Coz we made our promise, to hold on to each others' hand tight and acc each other to walk down for the rest of our life. Will hold on to this promise de ya?

Laogong~ If laopo tired le must lend me your shoulders to lean on. I scared I cannot take it, scared I'm walking alone and nobody to support me. Laopo need u, really need laogong to be by my side. I'm sorry if I made u worry for me so much, sorry if I made u heart pain for me. But at least I know, my love will not ever change.

*Tired*

by his side

2009-05-20T02:11:00.006+08:00

In this hectic life that people has, almost everyone seems to be lacking of something. Perhaps is the slowing down of the footsteps we take in our daily life. A phenomenon that is increasingly omnipresent in this society, where people concentrate on completing task and neglect the nature around them. Ever thought of that before? Sometimes "walking" too fast in your life may bring more stress in u, try slowing it down. Try looking around u to see the beauty of nature. It calms your mind down, and let u be more relax. 休息是为了走更长远的路...

Have been thinking alot lately, since when I started working, I haven't really enjoy myself after A's. Working and working is my daily chore, and it's so long since I really did go out and enjoy. Feel very stress at work, and feel sad I don't have enough time to acc him. Sorry laogong~ Have a little dispute with him today, shouldn't have tell him at first, but he insist. Sorry I wasn't that understanding, he so vexed for his fyp then I make him even upset.

He's tired, really tired le. Family members treat him nothing, fyp make him stress, sch make him really tired. I feel helpless and useless I can't do anything for him. Nevertheless, I know the least I can do is to be by his side. Help him hang on and support him, lend him my ears whenever he need. Shall not add on more trouble to him. ^^

Laogong~ If u tired le, can rest on my shoulder, though I'm not tat tall, I can always sit up straight and maybe let u rest on my head? If u no energy to walk le, can rely on me, though I don't have the strength to piggyback u, I can always hold your hand and acc u walk down the route. If u troubled le, can talk to me, though I may not be with u, I can always lend u my ears. If u sad le, can hug hug me, though I may not be that cozy to hug, I can always give u warm warm de big hug.

That's my promises to u, and most important de promise is I will always stay by your side, and be your moon that shine u through your darkest night. No matter what happen, must remember that somewhere out there, there's still a silly girl that willing to care for u, there's still a silly girl that is willing to do anything just to draw a little smile on your face. ^^

Got to go my lala land find my laogong, and I know I'll get scolding coz I didn't be a good girl and listen to him to orh orh early. Heh heh... XD Laogong see this le want smack me again liao. Shhhh~ Let him find out on his own. Tata~

*I'm willing to be that silly girl to stay by your side always* n.n

support for him

2009-05-01T03:02:00.001+08:00

~*Roadside grass are often trampled, yet have the spirit to endure and grow*~

T-E-A-M is crucial for project work. Know the definition of team? Togetherness in Effort And Moral support. Without the support from each other, without the cooperation of each other, things can't be done that easily. Rushing in completing it wouldn't get u the good things u want, it just make the team members more stress.

I feel helpless when I can't do anything for my laogong. His fyp is giving him a real bad headache, and I feel heart pain to see him like that. He nearly give up, shed his tears twice for just that fyp. Haiz... Laogong~ Though I can't help u with your fyp, I'm always here for you. If you need a listener, I'll always lend u my ears. It's not that people didn't recognise your effort, it's they have yet to recognise.

Seen that quote at the top? Never give up in any ways ya? It's not u can't do it, it's u haven't try to do it. The most impt thing is u put in the enough effort, u really do it with ur heart, u can. No matter what, believe in yourself. I don't promise i can help u in any ways, but I'll definitely be by ur side, help u hang on there ya? You are not the worst of all, coz u want to do it ya? No matter what, success or failure isn't the end of the world.

Remember what I told u? Sun always rise up every morning to light up the day for the people. But I rather prefer to be your moon, to light u up during your darkest period of life. Even if the whole world turn against u, u turn slightly to your side and I'm always there to walk down the pathway with u. Obstacles are the stones that hinder your pathway. Don't be afraid to cross over it ya? Coz i'll always hold your hand tightly and cross it with u. ^^

Going my lala land to meet my laogong le worx. Hehez... Tata everyone~

*Our love last till the end of the world* n.n

sweeeet~

2009-04-14T22:46:00.010+08:00

Went bugis with laogong today, go bai bai then a while headed back to woodlands. We took neoprint at the jewalla machine, 1st time took neoprint with him orh. Hehez... Super cool, and I really find the pictures nice orh. ^^

*就是爱他 <3*

1 month

2009-04-05T23:41:00.005+08:00

4/4/09
Remember I once mentioned time flashes and not flies? It's true, really really true. Ytd was the day for our first month! Awww~ Time zooms and so fast it's our first month le worx. Don't suspect, is YOU, S.J.H!!! Hur hur hur... Must be reading my blog for updates right? See... I know what you thinking of de worx.

Really really thanks lots for being with me for the one month. We shall have more months to go and more years to go too. ^^ I love the bracelet you gave me worx. At first thought u didn't buy any gift, but then, u my sweet pig lei, of coz will buy de ya? XD Shall wear it all the time and our love shall continue on and on and on and on... n.n

5/4/09
Happpy birthday Soo Jian Han!!! Sorry I didn't come back early to celebrate your birthday with u, and caused u kena said by your mum and make u so upset. Sorry that I didn't plan anything for u but just a simple meal for u. And hope u are happy that timezone de staff help u sing birthday song worx. And it's really really a last minute thing lei. XD Nevertheless, I did spend the short and sweet 2 hours to celebrate your birthday with u. Hope u like the presents and the card I wrote to u. Must like it hor, coz I spent super long time to write out the lyrics hor. Hur hur... XD

Just hope that u enjoy yourself today and be happy worx. Hehez... I promise I will confirm guarantee plus chop to help u celebrate your birthday each and every year, for your every birthday. Hehez... That's my promise to you worx, confirm will keep my promise. ^^

就是爱你!!! 会牵着你的手一起走完这条漫长的道路. ^^

sweet

2009-03-21T22:53:00.006+08:00

Awww~ I'm contented at what I have now, I'm happy at the things happening in my everyday life, but maybe except for the things happened during work.

*Work = tired = stressed up = piss off* That's my equation for my work, and I hate my next week schedule. Stupid f/t... *I hate complaints*. =(

Don't want talk about my work, let's talk about sth else. ^^ Anyone know the definition of a 'good guy' ? Just found out that the definition of a good guy is: 'No matter what kinds of guy, as long as u like it, he is a good guy.' XD It's true ya? At least for my view, that's what I think of. And I found this good guy >>> sweet pig >>>>>> S.J.H. Hur hur hur... =)

Brought my 3rd sis go time zone play today worx, and I top up $20 for my sis to play the love and berry. After that we ate ice-cream, i ate sundae hot fudge worx. He treat us mum mum de, thanks to him. ^^ Bought a baby mitten to use it as hp pouch. Super cool worx, shall upload the pics later. =]

March ending soon, and april will arrive in a short while more. April will be the super sweet month for him I guess, coz he'll receive 2 gifts on 1 day. Cool right? XD But the greatest gift he received ever is the one that will be by his side no matter what, and the 1st to do every little things for him out of pure feelings. Correct ya? ^^

The way I am

2009-03-15T01:43:00.014+08:00

Awww~ Life's going on quite well for me, except that I don't have enough sleep! Sleeping less than 8 hours a day makes me really tired, sometimes don't even want to do anything, just sleep sleep sleep. XD It's been 1 week since I get my A'level results, though it's not really good grades, at least I'm quite satisfied with my results. Especially my maths and GP, maths I got a B and GP I really really pass! Must must must thanks my GP and my maths tuition teachers who really helped me alot. ^^

Well, don't feel really really well at work, don't have the feeling of working really hard coz the motivation isn't there. Perhaps I'm working too long and I don't feel the excitement there. But one thing that keep me going is the sweet pig at my workplace. Awww~ That sweet pig really makes my day everyday, will smile in the air once I think of him. Hehez... ^^

Going to register for my course in uni soon. Though there may not be many courses for me to choose based on my not so fantastic results, at least I still can manage to go worx. Tml going malaysia, going to miss my sweet pig! =]

*No matter how u become, I'm still the same. My heart never change. Hearts you* n.n

A'level results

2009-03-04T22:21:00.004+08:00

Awww~ A'level results coming out this friday!!! I'm excited plus scared. Excited is everyone of us waited so long to see what we have achieved after lots and lots of hardwork and effort we put in. Scared is because I'm scared to see my results, scared to see if my results are not tat good, scared to let my parents down. =(

Whatever the results are, I know that I have put my heart and efforts into taking the exam, so everything should be turn out fine for me I guess. But if the results were not what I want, then I'll have to blame myself for it le.

Jia you for each and everyone taking A'level result this friday!!! All the best to 0724A!!! Btw~ I really miss the fun and laughter with 0724A! See u guys this friday. ^^

*Sweet for us* <3

confused

2009-02-24T21:57:00.002+08:00

I'm confused, really really confused abt myself. Don't really know what I have been thinking lately, perhaps there are too much changes happening. Perhaps I'm worried about lots of things, especially for my family. Haiz... Lots of things happen lately in my home, and my house is indeed a choas.

U, u, u, u, u... Why can't u listen to us? Why must u act as if u really don't like this home? Why must u make all of us worry so much for u and feel upset for u? Can't u be more understanding? Can't u just think before the words u say and the actions u do? Even if it's just a few words and some actions u did, it can upset each and everyone of us.

Behind the every fun and laughter u enjoy and had, there are tears that roll down for u and the sorrow that comes together with it. And for every word u said that is a disrespect, it comes with the sadness that lies beneath the heart of the parents. U can't feel it coz you are the one that create all these troubles. U pro, make till everyone of us so cak xin abt u.

If one day u did sth that is really a too much, I swear I'll do my part and reprimand u. Even if I know I can't win u in the quarrel, at least I know I did my part in this family to teach u sth, sth that u really cannot think and understand. Soft method is a useless tool to teach u, now what we're left are the heartless and hard method to teach u. If we really need to use these methods, pardon for anythings we did to u, coz u really don't know how to think and we are speechless to say u anymore.

*Every little things u do, u should think before u really do it*
~I'm confused and tired~

lay khean

2009-02-12T01:28:00.005+08:00

NG LAY KHEAN~~

Happy 19th birthday! Hohoho~

This post is dedicated for u worx. Must open your eyes big big and look at every words harx. =]

Must say that our friendship really last very long worx, this year will be the 10th year since we know each other le. And remember where we met and knew each other? It's at your opp block the RC there where we had our pri 4 tuition. And I think we didn't talk to each other at 1st, but after sometime we got chit-chat. ^^

Pri 6, I transferred to fuchun primary sch. I'm super lucky to get into the same class with u worx. At least I wouldn't feel lonely and weird coz I'm the new student there. Hehez... That's the 3rd year since we know each other. And I'm glad that u, miao hui and me become best of friends since then. Rem we do a project together? We did the 'snake and ladder' board game. It's really fun to know u and miao hui tgt in pri 6.

Year 2003, we 3 got into the same sec sch worx. It's msl sec and though we're in diff class, we still enjoy our orientation right? Rem the CCA open house? We 3 walk around msl sec campus to choose the CCA we want to go tgt ya? Finally we put CO as our 1st choice and we 3 got into CO tgt. And the day when we had to choose our instrument, we walked to the diff section. At 1st wan go plucking tgt de, but they only want 2 ppl. So finally we join er hu section coz they wanted more ppl. And from that day onwards, at least we got to meet each other every CO practice. ^^

After that, we changed to Mr low as our new instructor cum conductor. And we joined mco tgt too. Come to think of it, we really had super fun times tgt with soo wen in mslco. Especially the mslco camps we had each year where we got to play till crazy like tat. We went thru thick and thin in mslco ya?

Year 2004 was the mega concert. And I think we've been torture alot under yaya lee's sectional practice. And rem the 3 days we spent at the indoor stadium? Play music tgt, and criticise other schools tgt too. Hahaz... And we do make-up for each other too whenever we had any performances. Year 2005 was the difficult time coz it's our sfy year. I still rem the day, 20th april when we had our syf and mslco was the 17th i think. All of us thought we would get a gold, but to our disappointment, we got silver. We all shed our tears of sadness. Awww~ It still etched in my mind up till now.

Year 2006, it's mia musica! Our final year in mslco and we got the best of it. I can still rem the time when it's our turn to perform and I think we really enjoyed ourselves lots right? Time flies real fast and it's our graduating year le. Awww~ And and most important thing is we worked tgt at time zone! That's my happiest time there working with u where we got to go break tgt worx. ^^

Time flies real fast, this year will be the 10th year we got to know each other le. And I'm sure our friendship now still hold on tight ya? And we got covalent bonds worx, it's those super strong de bond that make our friendship last till super long. I hope our friendship will last till eternity till the day we grow old. And I believe u want that too ya? Rem my phone is on for 24/7, so u can called me anytime when u have any troubled. Or u can tell me anything when we go out tgt worx.

See la, I'm super long winded. Hahaz... Hope u wun read till very boring worx. Most importantly is we got celebrate your bdae with u. And hope u like the presents we gave u. Happy always! I'll pray hard that u stay pretty and happy forever. Take great care till we meet up again. =]

*Our friendship shall stay like this till the day we grow old* ~CNL~ [feiji] n.n

1st month

2009-02-01T03:21:00.002+08:00

~Today is the 1st month since we are together. And we still have lots of days and months and years to go on. No matter what, we shall stay side by side and walk down the path together.~

It's been 1 month since I updated. Coz I lazy to post and no time to online also. Have been busy with work and I'm tired everyday! Hahaz... CNY hols so fast gone, now Valentine's day will be coming soon. All couples will celebrate ya? And everybody shall celebrate with your loved ones worx. Hehez...

Ytd was Si Qi's last day of work, and we took neoprints tgt. Time flashes real fast and now we are heading to the 2nd month of the year 2009. Though it's only feb, time will still flies very fast. And A'level result still don know when it will be out. Everyone will be anxious about their result right? How I wish I could get the results that I want and can go to uni. Awww~ If I can't go uni, then my life will be lost coz I wouldn't know what to do. Haiz... Shall pray hard for my A'level results. ^^

2009!

2009-01-02T23:23:00.005+08:00

01.01.09 - The first day of 2009 and the freshest day of the year

01.01.09 - The day my life restarts & everything starts fresh

01.01.09 - The day I stayed overnight at my friend's house for the 1st time

01.01.09 - The day I celebrated with my 3 great friends (Jing Wen, Miao Hui & Yi Hui)

01.01.09 - The day I earn double pay & get my salary

01.01.09 - The day u appear and I'm shocked coz you say u wun be coming back

01.01.09 - The day engraved on our key chain

01.01.09 - The day u asked me and I say yes

01.01.09 - The day our new and sweeeet life begins n.n

9 things happen on this new day of the new year 2009. And this day will be my start off day of the year. It's going to be embedded in my mind forever! ^^

updates

2008-12-30T19:22:00.010+08:00

It's been 10 days since I updated my blog. And and tml will be the last day of the year 2008! Looking forward to thurs which will be 1st Jan 2009, coz it's going to be a special day for me! Hehez... And I think only lay khean knows that ya? Must help me keep a secret huh. ^^

Last friday I went to SCH to watch MCO's concert, and the guest of honour is the President! Can see mr and mrs president face to face, and I bet all those that went to watch the concert have really enjoyed the music ya? Can sense that mco is getting stronger and stronger, and the music they played were all wonderful. Congrats to them for the success of the mco concert. Cheers! =] I love the "super mario" and "To Zarnakand". It's super nice and touching. And I saw mslco there plus Ms Ho. She just gave birth and her baby is so cute. And Liu lao shi is still so shuai as ever!

This week will be a tiring week for me, coz I'm working almost everyday till closing, except for today and fri where I have my off days. Hahaz... And sat will be a worse day for me, coz I'm working from 9.30 till 0.00, which is till midnight! It's 13.5 hours and I think I will go crazy that day. XD

Me & Samantha

Sisters ^^

Sisters for life! =]

Awww... He went back malaysia le, and if possible he'll be back on thurs. If not next week then can see him, It's going to be a miss for me, and him too. ^^

Tired!

2008-12-20T17:32:00.003+08:00

I'm tired!! Have been busy working till I don have enough rest, and my panda eyes are so deep. Hahaz... Left 2 more weeks and it's the end of year 2008! Looking back at the days I spent in my JC, I realise time really flashes real fast. Just recalling the 3 days in my JC1 orientation, it still bring back alot of memories to me. It seems like it was just a few days ago, can imagine myself being a blur sotong during the orientation.

And time really flashes so fast, exactly 1 month ago I just had my last A'level bio paper. See how time flashes and not fly? Hahaz... Nowadays you wun even realise that you are racing with time, and eventually time beats you in the race.

Work and work and work... It's tiring facing those irritating customers, and you'll get fed-up and feel like boxing them. Hahaz... But we can't do much also, just have to do our job well and enjoy ourselves. ^^

Ytd after work, was feeling quite sick and my stomach was not feeling well. Ate panadol and feel better today. Maybe it's because of eating those outside food, plus my stomach wasn't that good also. Hahaz... Should have to eat porridge for the whole day coz last time my stomach also like that, then I kept vomiting and having diarrhoea. The feeling was horrible and I bet nobody will want such feeling. So everyone must take great care, especially with such bad weather nowadays.

Working tml and it would be a tiring day for me too. But I only need to work 5.5 hours. But 1 sad thing is that I can't acc my family go back malaysia to my grandma's house tml. Coz tml 'dong zhi' lei, should be eating the 'tang yuan' and not working. But I'll definitely eat 'tang yuan' coz I asked my mum make it. Hahaz...

Happy DONG ZHI to everyone!!! =]

2008-12-12T01:21:00.016+08:00

Life's full of changes, and you'll never know what will happen to you in the next moment. =]

Today was a tiring day for me, or should I say it's ytd, coz it's 1.20a.m now! At 1st I was feeling bored, but when night came, it's super busy. Expecially when I was doing the Big Sweetland, all the aunties were so troublesome. I had to put sweets all the time, and the aunties keep asking me to put figurines. And everyone that work in tz hate to do sweetland coz it's troublesome bcoz of all the aunties. Hahaz...

Was thinking of making my life more meaningful by giving tuition. Hahaz.. Of coz give tuition to primary sch kids, coz secondary sch kids quite tough for me I guess. Maybe I should consider taking another job instead of one job to make my life more useful. ^^

I shall post photos! Photos of all the gifts I've received. Yeah! ^^

I'm touched by this... This was what my 3 besties (miao hui, yi hui & jing wen) made for me. It's a heart shaped on the beach made up of candles! And inside the heart, the words 'happy bdae' were also made up of candles. It took them alot of effort. So sweet~ Thank you!!! ^^

This was also the big banner made by my 3 besties. Love them lots! =]

The little gift the 3 of them gave. Nice right? =]

Jing Wen gave this to me. So cute! =]

My class, 0724A gave these wonderful gifts to me! The little bottle contains all their wishes. Thank you! =)

My 2 sweet friends (lay khean & miao hui) since P6 gave this little card. The wordings inside are so sweet! ^^

This is also the gift miao hui & lay khean gave it to me. =]

The gift I love most! Given by Wee Chang, Ken Weei & Kim Seah! I love it lots!! n.n

Thanks everyone for every gifts and wishes. I received hang bao too! This 18th birthday would be the most memorable and most unforgettable birthday I've ever had! I love everyone and every gits I had. A big THANK YOU!!! =]

My 18th bdae!

2008-12-09T21:28:00.000+08:00

Weee... I just passed my 18th birthday! And I had a great time at my 3 days 2 nights chalet. Hahaz... Must thank everyone that attended my chalet, especially the 3 girls and the 3 guys: Wee Chang, Ken Weei, Kim Seah, Miao Hui. Yi Hui & Jing Wen. They really made the chalet enjoyable, and I appreciate every help they do. =]

This year's birthday will be the most memorable birthday I ever had, and the most touching of all I guess. And thanks my 3 girls for making that huge present for me. I love it lots. They really surprise me alot, and I'm touched. They do a small little trail using pictures and asking me to follow the way. And when I reached the beach, they made a very big heart shape with lots of candles. And a 'Happy bdae' words with candles lighted up. Awww... I love that, really touched.

Thanks the 3 wonderful guys for helping out in everything. In bbq-ing, in mopping the floor, and in making the atmosphere lively and lovely. And I love the present u 3 gave, it's unique to me. Thanks lots!!! Will remember their contributions. ^^

And thanks my class, 0724A for the presents. Went for my class chalet ytd after my chalet ended. That's tiring but I really enjoy the bbq. I was shocked to see the brownies that simaa made for as my birthday cake, with 'happy bdae' made up of M&M chocolates. I appreciate that lots, plus the presents. Thanks guys!

pictures =]

Sis, Me & Samantha

Me & Samantha

We 3!

Bao Xin

Bao Hui

My Twineees (they are cute ya?) =]

Sisters for life ^^

Yi Hui & me =]

Maio Hui & Me =]

Me & Jing Wen (my 1st pic with her) =]

My 3 besties

Me & Ken Weei =)

Me & Kim Seah =)

Wee Chang & me ^^

I'm as tall as them! hahaz~~

Love them lots! ^^

Smile always

support~~

The news I've been waited for One year!

Xin hao tong...

* misses *

Those were just memories...

Updates!

dear diary...

If I have the ability...

2010

hate sunday!

Merry Christmas!!!

19th birthday!

grown up!

happy vs vexed

empty house~

sudden mixed feelings

jia you~

updates~

i'm back!

7 months!!!

jealousy~

hang on...

heart ache

6 months--half a year!

updates

happy boy~

nothing to say

sick laogong, worry laopo

*xiang ta*

*misses*

sick~

understanding

memories

totally lost

bad day

everything end

failed

tired

tired!

by his side

support for him

sweeeet~

1 month

*sweet*

The way I am

A'level results

*confused*

lay khean

1st month

2009!

updates

Tired!

My 18th bdae!

xiang ta

misses

sweet

confused