Tuesday, August 10, 2010 '

It's the month of August, and the month that I should really start to prepare for my school life. Not sure why, maybe it's coz I've left school for so long after my jc, just feel uneasy to go back to school to study again. Thinking of those times in jc, (lectures, tutorials, tests and exams) it really frightens me to go back to school life again. Maybe coz of the relax life for almost 1 and a half year, I felt so lethargic to go school. And the need to wake up so early in the morning is just enough for me to worry about. Being adapted to sleep late and wake up late, I guess I really have to change my body clock to be normal again. If not I'll have a terrible time when school starts.

But come to think of that, isn't it good for one to enter into uni? With so many applicants applying for the 3 local uni, it isn't easy to be accepted by them. So I told myself I'll cherish the one and only chance given to me, as it wasn't easy to come by. Though my course can't compare to those competitive and exhausting courses, at least it interests me and i should work hard in the 4 years to come. =)

And I can bet that, if I leave my workplace, the word "舍不得" is so so suitable for me. Coz it's such a joy to work with so many friendly and nice ppl around. And most of these ppl aren't locals, they're either from China or Malaysia. Through the one month I've worked there, I've learnt a lot of values and experiences. Most impt thing is the diff between locals and the foreigners, their characters and their attitudes. That's one thing that changed my perception of viewing things. Through these ppl, I realise how different it is between the locals and the foreigners (malaysian and ppl from Chine). The way each behaves and the way each views things are far different. That make me grown up even more. Though I'm not sure why, just feels that my thinking changed after working with such nice and friendly ppl. =)

~人与人之间, 最珍贵的是那份真诚的心. 用真诚的心去对待别人, 那是最美好的. ~

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
11:15 PM

Friday, July 2, 2010 '

support~~

Oh well~ It's been super long ever since I updated my blog. Laziness is the ans to it, and nth much to post also. I had started working for these 2 weeks, in the fnb industry whereby it's tougher than any other jobs. Coz u need to walk the whole working hours, plus u need to serve the drinks and food. And I can really say the muscles do all the job, from the hands to the legs. It's tough to carry the tray that contains the load of food and drinks. Without strength and focus, the drinks will sure to spill, and the food will sure to topple.
But, I like this job quite much. Not coz of the pay, but the satisfaction there. U get to exercise (from all those walking and carrying), u get to serve the customers and u get to learn things that make u grow up. Most impt is that when the customers say a little "thank you", u feel that your hard work is appreciated. And when they smile and bid goodbye to u after they finished their meals, that's what heartfelt gratitude is.

Being in this fast pace society, it's hard for people to greet and to just say "thank you" to u. U can say that ppl tend to overlook the courtesy that one should have. And the distance between people to people drifts apart. But in the fnb industry, u experience another form of courtesy between the customers and the waiter/ress. That's my contentment gain from it. And the fun between the staff (managers too).

But for my job, I need to work till 12am, whereby I'll only reach home earliest around 12.40am. That's where the problem lies. My bf don't really agree to me working there till so late, and it's at np some more. I know he'll worry, and need to wait till I get home and finish my shower before he can go to sleep. I know u'll worry, and I don't confirm I can protect myself when I'm going home. But at least, I know my dear is waiting at home for me. That's when I feel blissful from your support. Just hope that everything will be good. And I know no matter what, u'll stay by my side, be with me throughout ya? ^^

~ I need your support and encouragement ~

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
1:28 AM

Tuesday, May 25, 2010 '

It's been such a long time since I updated my blog. Oh well~ Have been at home all the time and I'm bored to death. Wanna look for job and hope it'll be near my house coz I lazy to transport. XD Waiting for my uni to start sch on the 30 August, which is like around 3 months away. Come to think of that, haven't been in contact with school and books for almost 1 and half year. I wonder will I get used to going back to school and study. Omg~~ It's so hard to imagine that after slacking for 1 year, I'm going back to sch to study again. Don't know why I'm like used to my life now. But I'll work hard when I get into uni!

Went out with dear boy today to cwp. And he looked for jobs coz his current job in kiddy palace too stress and too far. And of coz, he was being offered to work at "Stereo", the shop that sells earpieces and all that. Good for him, coz he can save transport fees, and would be able to see him often. ^^ As for me, hmmm, don't know what job should I look for. Miao said should upgrade in the job we want to work coz we passed the sales working age. XD Should look for those admin jobs or sth.

Not sure yet, see how it goes. Currently, I'm giving tuition. And it's 4 times per week to just one student. Can imagine how reluctant I can be when it comes to go to the girl's house to give tuition almost every weekdays? Still thinking whether to talk to the mum to change to twice per week, 2 hours per session anot. Coz it's so tiring to go 4 days straight.

Anw~ My dad and my grandma went to Guang Zhou again~ This time I didn't tag along coz save $$. Haha... Today is the 2nd day they went, hope they're all well there. And hope they'll but gifts for me! XD Alright, update next time. And I want to say, that I love my dear boy lots! ^^

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
9:16 PM

Thursday, May 6, 2010 '

The news I've been waited for One year!

OMG~ Today is such a joyful day for me! It's been one year, one whole entire year. Was so scared that I can't get the acceptance, coz since I failed one time, got that phobia. Went online check for the acceptance, and and to my surprise, I'm being accepted for Chinese! I quickly asked my mum to come and take a look, she jump to joy. Asked me whether is it true or not, and I said yes. =D

I was so excited that tears burst out and I cried for joy, cried coz I've been waiting very long for this. NTU chinese! Congrats to me! Quickly called laogong and told him the good news, he was happy for me too. My mum said it's the best Mother's day gift ever. And I'm glad I can give her this present on time. Applied for the second time and I'm finally being accepted to enter into uni. Tears of joy kept rolling down, and I really can't imagine that I've got that course.

Now I'm waiting for the letter to come, and I'll accept it too. It's the day I've been waiting for. And I shared this joy with my parents and laogong! Hehez... Getting into uni wasn't easy, study for that wasn't easy too. I'll work hard so that my efforts will not go in vain. I'm simply too happy today! ^^

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
2:42 PM

Wednesday, April 14, 2010 '

Back from chalet with laogong... Suppose to be very happy, in the end, it turn out to be like that. Am I that inconsiderate? Or am I that irrtating that my words are just meant to be said and forgot? Gave a hint to him, but guess he didn't catch it. Girls are like that, when their mouth say this, actually their heart don't mean that. When they say yes, sometimes their heart means no, when they say "anything" or "up to u", actually their heart really don't wish u to go. Girl is a contradicting creature. Then boy? Boy don't understand what girl want. Not girl didn't tell, she tell, but boy didn't catch it. Or maybe girl told boy not that clearly, in the end, it end up quarreling.

Can I let u know how I feel? How I feel when u always said, " my fault for all these can? " Can I tell u what are my feelings? I'm not that good in words, quiet most of the time, and when sth unhappy happens, I choose to be quiet. Coz the more I said, the more u misunderstood me, the more u put all the blame to yourself, then it makes me feel I'm such a lousy girl, I'm such an useless girl... Coz I didn't mean to ask u put the blame to yourself, I just want u to know how your this little girl feel...

Know how she feel now? Hurt by your words, hurt by how u said those things to her... Girl admit that she's such a fragile girl, cry baby if u think she is. But boy doesn't seem to know her inner self. Coz she's badly injured once, and that heart of her don't mean to say those unplesant words. Hurt once, a wound is there, and is easily infected. Before u said those words, got think of how she feels? Say le, it makes u say that it's all your fault, then what about girl? She wouldn't think that way?

How her heart feels, u should know, perhaps not that detailed. But deep inside her, there's a scar that will always be there. But do you really know......

~Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one, to take my breath away? ~

~ Can I ask u not to go? Will u listen to me? Would u console me after what u said that hurt me? Would u know that my tears just keep rolling down? How I wish u would know all these while u were away...
Would you stand by me, let me hold u tight? And would u think of me, after u stop smsing me? How I wish u could understand how I feel... How I wish u could hold me tight now... ~
~ 心好痛，但是你都知道吗？~ ='(

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
5:05 PM

Saturday, April 3, 2010 '

Xin hao tong...

Had a little dispute and quarrel with him. Book hao le de chalet, in the end u can't go. I spent efforts, time and money orh, yet u can't go. Know me and my sis, from woodlands all the way to pasir ris, went to just book a chalet to celebrate your birthday? So should I cancel? Ytd quarrel, coz u got orientation, then can't make it. When I heard it, was a little angry and upset at first, then said those unhappy words.
Today, little dispute also. Made till our day not good at all. Thought of so many words to tell u in msn, type hao le, type and cry tgt. But u can't see it at all. I know u angry with what I said, but got think that laogong hurt me also ma? Xin hao tong orh. Know u kena friends treat u like that, yet I can't do anything. Can't give u a hug to let u feel better, can't do anything to let u feel better.

Laogong said u suffer there, but I heard from your voice, got enjoy ba. Got enjoy jiu hao, at least u didn't feel sad even though we quarrel. But for me, I cried for many nights. That night, coz miss u too much, plus your friends prob, made me cried and worried for u. Ytd and tonight, which is now, cried coz I know u enjoyed, but don't know why I don feel good at all. Perhaps coz I'm suffering ba, suffering from my misses for u, suffering from ytd's quarrel and today. Guess u don't feel that hurt hor?

But u know what? My heart so painful, tears keep rolling down from my eyes. I don't want your "it's ok" or your "nvm", I want your console. Muacks so many times can't heal my wound, coz it's so painful. Why everytime we quarrel, I suffered so much? And keep on crying yet u don't know. I'm such a lousy girl, perhaps not that good as your girl. But deep inside my heart, I'm truly hurt... Sleep le, wake up, it's still hurt. Laogong... U know that ma?

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
12:00 AM

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 '

* misses *

These few days weren't that easy to lead on. Just felt that without him, life's really not that happy and bright. Last thurs went to airport to send laogong off to Korea. And he'll be away for 11 days till next mon. Haiz.. Was happy at first when we reached the airport. But when it was about time to bid goodbye, I can't hold it anymore and I cried... I knew I promised I wouldn't cry, but really can't hold it. After that went burger king with his mum and sis to da bao food. Saw laogong going in le, and silly laogong cried too. Cried even more sad than me... That's the 1st time he went overseas alone with the school, and for such a long time. Haiz...

Today was the 5th day he's away, and my misses for him really cannot be described. 6 more days for him to come back, really miss him alot. At night, when I was about to sleep, will think whether my silly laogong got eat well and sleep well anot, got enjoy and take great care of himself anot. Sometimes when I think of it, tears just roll down. Can't control my misses for him, how I wish now time can flash faster, how I wish he can come back faster...

Hope he's good there, enjoy the tours and shopping. But as for me, it isn't that good. Now then I know missing someone is worst than torture, mind is full of him can make me go crazy. But what can I do? Can only wait for him to come back, and I wish the countdown can be a bit faster. Hope tml will be better, hope tml morning there'll be a call asking me to go for relief, then I wouldn't think so much. Hope to find sth to do then time can flash faster.

Laogong must take great care, rem to drink lots of water. Sha laopo waiting for u to come back...

~ Counting down 6 more days for u to come back... How I wish time can past faster ~

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
6:20 PM