Back from chalet with laogong... Suppose to be very happy, in the end, it turn out to be like that. Am I that inconsiderate? Or am I that irrtating that my words are just meant to be said and forgot? Gave a hint to him, but guess he didn't catch it. Girls are like that, when their mouth say this, actually their heart don't mean that. When they say yes, sometimes their heart means no, when they say "anything" or "up to u", actually their heart really don't wish u to go. Girl is a contradicting creature. Then boy? Boy don't understand what girl want. Not girl didn't tell, she tell, but boy didn't catch it. Or maybe girl told boy not that clearly, in the end, it end up quarreling.
Can I let u know how I feel? How I feel when u always said, " my fault for all these can? " Can I tell u what are my feelings? I'm not that good in words, quiet most of the time, and when sth unhappy happens, I choose to be quiet. Coz the more I said, the more u misunderstood me, the more u put all the blame to yourself, then it makes me feel I'm such a lousy girl, I'm such an useless girl... Coz I didn't mean to ask u put the blame to yourself, I just want u to know how your this little girl feel...
Know how she feel now? Hurt by your words, hurt by how u said those things to her... Girl admit that she's such a fragile girl, cry baby if u think she is. But boy doesn't seem to know her inner self. Coz she's badly injured once, and that heart of her don't mean to say those unplesant words. Hurt once, a wound is there, and is easily infected. Before u said those words, got think of how she feels? Say le, it makes u say that it's all your fault, then what about girl? She wouldn't think that way?
How her heart feels, u should know, perhaps not that detailed. But deep inside her, there's a scar that will always be there. But do you really know......
~Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one, to take my breath away? ~
~ Can I ask u not to go? Will u listen to me? Would u console me after what u said that hurt me? Would u know that my tears just keep rolling down? How I wish u would know all these while u were away...
Would you stand by me, let me hold u tight? And would u think of me, after u stop smsing me? How I wish u could understand how I feel... How I wish u could hold me tight now... ~
~ 心好痛，但是你都知道吗？~ ='(
5:05 PM
Xin hao tong...
Had a little dispute and quarrel with him. Book hao le de chalet, in the end u can't go. I spent efforts, time and money orh, yet u can't go. Know me and my sis, from woodlands all the way to pasir ris, went to just book a chalet to celebrate your birthday? So should I cancel? Ytd quarrel, coz u got orientation, then can't make it. When I heard it, was a little angry and upset at first, then said those unhappy words.
Today, little dispute also. Made till our day not good at all. Thought of so many words to tell u in msn, type hao le, type and cry tgt. But u can't see it at all. I know u angry with what I said, but got think that laogong hurt me also ma? Xin hao tong orh. Know u kena friends treat u like that, yet I can't do anything. Can't give u a hug to let u feel better, can't do anything to let u feel better.
Laogong said u suffer there, but I heard from your voice, got enjoy ba. Got enjoy jiu hao, at least u didn't feel sad even though we quarrel. But for me, I cried for many nights. That night, coz miss u too much, plus your friends prob, made me cried and worried for u. Ytd and tonight, which is now, cried coz I know u enjoyed, but don't know why I don feel good at all. Perhaps coz I'm suffering ba, suffering from my misses for u, suffering from ytd's quarrel and today. Guess u don't feel that hurt hor?
But u know what? My heart so painful, tears keep rolling down from my eyes. I don't want your "it's ok" or your "nvm", I want your console. Muacks so many times can't heal my wound, coz it's so painful. Why everytime we quarrel, I suffered so much? And keep on crying yet u don't know. I'm such a lousy girl, perhaps not that good as your girl. But deep inside my heart, I'm truly hurt... Sleep le, wake up, it's still hurt. Laogong... U know that ma?
12:00 AM
