Friday, June 26, 2009 '

bad day

Is it that people who are rich can do anything they want? Even scold other people when it's not their fault? Rahh... That's what I experienced today, this stupid customer scold me and my staff for nth! And we just follow the company's law yet he scolded us as if we did sth really wrong. Rich also cannot like tat treat other people. We got parents that born us and it's not that you want to scold then scold us for nth! In the end I cried coz u shouted at me directly into my face, and as if u're the big boss like tat. WTH?!

At 1st this week should be my last week, but then my manager asked me to extend 1 more week coz the full timer just arrive. Though I agree to him, I know my laogong unhappy about it. I'm sorry... I know I didn't keep my promise, and I know u're angry with me. But all I want to say is I'm really sorry...

Going off to sleep coz tml I work 9.30. My work really makes me so shag, and I don't wish to do any other things. =( Make my mood drop to the bottom of the cliff, and I quarrel with him so many times coz of my work. Haiz... Looking forward to the day I resign, but I know I'll miss the people there and cannot bear to leave.

Oh well~ Shall update the next time round. And my wisdom teeth is hurting me alot. Haiz...

~No matter what, I'm still a fortunate girl~ n.n

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
1:04 AM

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 '

everything end

I'm tired... Sick and tired of everything...... I don't wish to care anymore, I don't wish to think anymore. In my mind now, everything is blank, totally blank. Perhaps this is wat I should get for my retribution? Or perhaps, all these things that happened is what it should happen to me.
I'm too tired to hold on to this anymore, that's why I let go... Ended everything, so don't ask me anymore, coz I don't wish to say anymore. Truly disappointed, what I did for everything, in the end this is what I get. Just stop everything ba, no use harping on it.
I'm sorry my dear, to make u sad once again. I'm not a good girlfriend, didn't think of your feelings at all. Know u care for me that's why say all these to me, yet I still didn't change. Dui bu qi... Cannot leave me alone, coz I'm scared to be alone. Cannot leave me behind, coz I'm scared to live on without u.
Don't ever give up on me, don't ever fall, coz I wun be able to stand alone. Laogong feel sad let laopo hug hug and sayang u, laogong feel restless let laopo hold on to your hand and acc u walk. Laogong feel tired let laopo piggy back u if I can, or let laogong lie on me. That's what I promise u ya? The only thing that I want u to do is don't ever leave me, coz my life will be nothing without you. Muacks... >.<
*If it's wrong to love you, then I don't want it to be right* n.n

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
2:07 AM

Sunday, June 14, 2009 '

failed

I failed... Haiz... In my world now, it seems dark, totally in completely darkness. I don't know what to do now, don't know what should I do next. I disappoint my parents, my dad the most. I don't know what's my next step at all, I'm stuck and my feet don't know where should I go. Retake never came across in my mind. Now my mind is in a whirl, yet I know I have to decide on sth. Anyone can help me? Advise on what steps should I take next? I need someone to advice where should I go?

This thing haven't settle fully yet another issue came just so suddenly. I never allow myself to go into this stage at all, but now I'm forced to do the things I don't want it to happen. Ever wonder what's the maximum capacity a person can bear with everything that happen? And wonder when will a person blast off without any warning at all? Now even a soft-hearted person can do that as long as he/she has reached the max of the max.

I'm waiting for it to come, and I shall not allow myself to get hurt at all. And I would protect my friend too, coz I treat her as one. ^^ The one that share the status I am now, the one that willing to attack with me, she know who she are. =)

I'm just tired of all these things, not my fault yet I'm the one that need to carry it. This is the 2nd time it happen to me. I haven attack yet, I haven even move, I haven even say anything at all. Yet I need to carry these burden with me. Kkies... I shall carry it with me, and till the day it come, pardon me for my sudden change of personality, coz this will be the only time I'll do that. I wun allow the next time to come, and I promise this will be the last and final one.

*It's going to end soon...*

*I love my laogong the most! And I know he'll be by my side always* n.n

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
11:16 PM

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 '

tired

Ytd was the start of the fresh week I should have. Yet the start of the week made me very tired, make me don't wish to welcome the other days. It's not smooth for me at all, it isn't is. Why must it happen that way? I've been working for around 6 months, and the most unhappiness things happened when I'm about to quit. At first want to quit end of june, ytd made me have the determination to quit nxt week. I really cannot take it anymore, my work made me and my laogong quarrel so many times. I hate it, really hate it.

Why are there so many scary ppl around? It really scared me alot, it made me so tired of working. I'm tired to handle such things, I really am. Staff like that, customers also like that. I cried 5 times in total ytd. First was when I'm working, then on the bus way home, next was when I'm walking home from the bus stop. I sat down on the bench at my block downstairs. I don't wish to listen to calls and sms, I just want to have peace. I cried out, really cried out.

Last 2 times were when I'm chatting with my laogong. Laogong~ I'm really sorry I didn't think of u, I'm sorry I didn't put myself in your shoes. Dui bu qi...

Tired is the word to describe me for now, not physically tired, but mentally tired. I hate working there, really tires me alot. Made me don't wish to carry on walking. I can't tolerate anymore, will quit earlier, probably nxt week. And on my last day of work, I'll blast all out. Don't blame me for doing this, coz I'm really tired!

Laogong~ Will quit de, give me some more time ya? I'm really sorry to let u cry. Dui bu qi...

Maybe to u all, I'm 18, should learn how to grow up and think maturely. But deep inside my heart, I'm just a small little girl. I just want to be normal, just want to lead a happy life. Isn't that simple? Why can't it be done? I'm really tired...

During work... If I keep quiet, don't ask me why, coz I don't wish to talk. If I don't look at u, don't look at me, coz I'm crying. If I didn't say anything, just let me be. I'm tired!

piss off, tired, upset, disappointed, stress-up

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
12:04 PM

Monday, June 1, 2009 '

tired!

Life is full of obstacles, and u really have to face it and wait patiently. Have been waiting for my uni letter and it haven't come yet. Haiz... My mum say the letter haven't come is better than the letter come. Coz if letter come and it reject me, then I really don't know what to do. At least my ntu application is still processing, and it means a little hope and little light down the road. =) Just hope that when it really come, it gives me the sparks of my life.

2 more days and it will be our 3rd month le ya? Really enjoy the days I spend with him, and we are growing sweeter. ^^ Laogong~ I know we may have a little dispute nowadays, and I know I made u worry for me alot. Really sorry... Made u cry and made u so sad, I'm such a bad laopo. =(

Next time will not do it again, know laogong scared of losing me. But must believe in me ya? Coz we made our promise, to hold on to each others' hand tight and acc each other to walk down for the rest of our life. Will hold on to this promise de ya?

Laogong~ If laopo tired le must lend me your shoulders to lean on. I scared I cannot take it, scared I'm walking alone and nobody to support me. Laopo need u, really need laogong to be by my side. I'm sorry if I made u worry for me so much, sorry if I made u heart pain for me. But at least I know, my love will not ever change.

*Tired*

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
11:58 PM