Tuesday, September 29, 2009 '

jealousy~

~ Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness and disgust. ~

-taken from wikepedia

Hmmm... People often say maybe girls tend to get jealous easily, perhaps it's quite true for me. It's the emotion which no one can avoid or suppress it. And that's the emotion I hate most, coz that emotion doesn't stand alone, it combines with many other negative emotions. Jealousy may appear as a word alone, but it comes with anger, fear and alot anxiety. I guess jealousy can know how a person reacts and reveal the person's personality.

Long ago, I used to show off my temper whenever that jealousy met me. But now, my temper change, maybe due to all the unpleasant things that made me grown up. So when that jealousy meet me again, I choose to stay calm, then slowly question then finally that jealousy will go away. But I hate it whenever it comes, especially when it brought along that person. Don't know why but it's just a dislike in me.

So whenever JEALOUSY comes, don't scram or show off your temper immediately, coz that's the trap it set up in the 1st place. Cool down then question, then if u still not satisfied or it hasn't go away, then just scram to let off your anger. Coz if u suppress it further, it reach beyond your limit, and blast off should suit that moment. But must cool down after that, then think thru and then think of solutions to solve that jealousy. =)

~ " Yet he was jealous, though he did not show, for jealousy dislikes the world to know it " ~
-by Lord Byron

~ " The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves " ~

-by Willian Penn

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
1:03 AM

Saturday, September 19, 2009 '

hang on...

I guess it's the crucial period this time, that's why alot of unhappy things cropped up almost everyday. But if they really come to find me and talk, I'm not scared at all. Coz I did nth wrong, plus I got my mum and laogong with me, I'm not scared orh. I only scared later his family all treat him so bad, and I'm not by his side to help him hang on. Laogong... No matter what they say, must hang on. Hang on for the sake of yourself, hang on for the sake of me, and hang on for our better future.

Laogong... We don need meet everyday to maintain our love, as long as our hearts beat as one, no matter how hard it is, we'll still go on. Perhaps it's a form of dependency that we must meet everyday, but I'm sure we can hang on. And must prove to your mum and bro that you'll pass your retake this year, so that they wouldn't say u useless anymore. In my eyes, you are not useless at all. So laogong must study well, and jia you! Like that we wouldn't let others look down upon us.

The most impt thing is I'll wait for u, wait for u to finish your retake, wait for u to finish your NS when u go in nxt year. And if anyone still ask u to stop our relationship first then ask u find other girls when u finish NS, I'll make sure I shut his mouth. Shut his mouth and tell him strongly and firmly that I'll wait for u. Throw the words, " Who say I can't wait for him? Who say our love cannot last? Who say we can't go on after his NS?" into that person's face. If anyone were to ask me, I'll say firmly the 5 words, " I will wait for you! " See they'll shut their mouth or not.

Laogong... No matter what, we will hang on. And prove to those idiotic people that whatever they say, it's WRONG. Coz nobody knows what we've gone thru, nobody knows how we are impt to each other. If they still say that, then they don't know what the 4 letters LOVE means. They don't even know the meaning of true love, and I believe it exists in this world. We will last for them to see, and shut off their stupid mouth. Trust me, we will!

~ Our love isn't that fragile, for we trust in each other ~ ^^

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
5:22 PM

Thursday, September 17, 2009 '

heart ache

Unhappy things always spoil the mood for the whole day even if your day starts out refresh and well. Today was supposed to be a happy day for us. Went party world with my laogong and sis. We sang happily and totally enjoy our day. But the cruel and frightening night came... That little moment totally made my heart sank to the bottom of the cliff, made my mood dropped to the end. When I saw the sms, I totally feel like fainting, feel as if I don't have energy at all.

Lots of thoughts just gushed into my mind and I was thinking, what did I do to turn things out like tat? Was crying on the way when i walked home from my bus stop, but stopped when my mum came to fetch me. Wanted to ask her for opinions, but just couldn't bring myself to mention it. Rahh... Why am I like this? For 18 years, I'm those obedient girl that wouldn't create trouble all that. But for the very 1st time, I'm being said by someone who will be an impt person to me the nxt time.

I didn't want it to happen that way, I didn't mean to. How I wish they weren't like that, how I wish me and him wasn't treated like that. I really feel heart pain for him to suffer all this, yet I can't do anything at all. Didn't help him but add on to his problem some more. A sense of fear and worried just appear in me which I can't explain at all. Neither do I know how it comes about nor how it appear in me. The aura on her makes me step back, makes me want to hide. Ever since after that day she wanted to talk to me, whenever I think of it, an unknowing fear just came about.

I don't want it like that, perhaps what she said sounds logical also. Haiz... Can anyone understand what am I happening now? I'm at a lost... How I wish i can help him, but I don't have the wisdom and guts to help him. If anyone of his family members just saw this, just blame it on me, don't blame everything on him. He suffers alot already, all these quarrels made him no mood to concentrate on his study. If you all want him good, then please help him, not just by quarrels, but really help him... Haiz...

Perhaps I write this adds on more fuel in them, but I really don't know what to do. 'Please' is the only word, please please please. I rather I suffer for him, at least he'll do good for his retake. I rather I carry all the scoldings and sayings all that, then he wouldn't think that he is a nth to them. If I have the chance and courage, I'll talk and help him...... If I really have... Haiz...

*I will stay with you no matter what, and I hope our genuine love will prove to other people that we stay strong no matter what*
* My heart aches when I post this, my hand trembles when i type this, fear stays in me when I think of it. *

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
12:44 AM

Monday, September 7, 2009 '

6 months--half a year!

Weeee~ Shall come here to update my blog coz have been a long time I didn't update my blog le. Hmmm... The year is approaching the last quater in another month time, and time really flies that fast. And half a year have passed for me and him! Awww~ Last fri was our 6th month anniversary! Was very happy to be with him all this while, and I'm glad he's with me all this while too. Went AMK last fri to have steamboat with laogong, and it's cheap yet can fill our stomach. But I guess he ate lots more than me. Xp

6 months isn't that easy to pass alone, yet I passed this 6 months happily with him. There may be some disputes and quarrels all that, but then most of our time is filled with happiness and joys, laughters and smiles. Hehez... Just love the way we are, and I want it to continue that way too, till many many months and till many many years. Shhhh~ *our promise* ^^

He did a thing today that made me touched and happy. Today wasn't suppose to meet him coz his fyp end till quite late. Then after his fyp finished, I called him and he said he buying mac for his dinner. Then after that he sms me said he reached home and going to bath le, and I replied I going to bath too. Then I sat on the sofa playing psp a while, just then my bro told me to open the door. Then I heard my laogong's voice!!! Awww~ He came my house narh, and it's really really a surprise for me. He passed the mac happy meal for me, that wasn't his dinner narh, it's for me.

Isn't he cute? Hehez... Ytd he invented a new 'hans happy meal' for me to cheer me up whenever I'm sad. Then was a bit moody today, he used his hans happy meal to cheer me up, but then wasn't that effective. And I didn't know that he bought a real mac happy meal with doraemon toy. Awww~ I'm happy happy! Weee~ Love him lots narh, he's just my cute boy. Xie xie laogong!

Shall post some pics to do the rest of the updates. Take care all! Toodles~
p.s: Love him the way he is!

*my piglets* Xp

*"family" photo*

*sweet neoprint* ^^

*muacks* >.<

*my sweet laogong* =)

*If it's wrong to love u, then my heart just wouldn't let me be right*
11:04 PM